How strange and very peculiar [dating filter]

[rachelmanija]

In retrospect, there is something odd about OK Cupid. The only man I ever corresponded with at length, but never met because his emails gave me the impression that he would show up for the first date with a single red rose and begin discussing "our relationship" as it had progressed via email, later dated my very good friend Mehera, who also met him via OK Cupid. He showed up for their first date with a single red rose, and began discussing their relationship as it had progressed via email.

Also through OK Cupid, Mehera briefly dated a guy whom I had dated in grad school.

Will, the divorce lawyer, was indeed quite cute and intelligent, although it quickly became apparent that we moved in very different circles. For instance, he had never heard that there was a genre called "fantasy," and was quite confused when I described a book as such. "Isn't that like saying that it's in the genre 'plot?'" he asked. "I mean, all books that aren't true are fantasy, right?"

No, he was not kidding. It was quite difficult to explain that from the ground up, as it were. "Well, you know how Spiderman has these special powers? And in real life, people don't really have them, but it's still set more or less in the real world? OK, that's fantasy. Well, technically, it's science fiction, because they have a scientific explanation... I mean, it's not real science, but they call it science, not magic. If it was called magic, that would be fantasy."

Anyway, I did have an enjoyable evening, and like I said he was quite cute, though I was not feeling any particular mad urges to pounce and kiss. But perhaps that could develop, I thought. I'd be willing to try it out, anyway. But as I suspected the lack of mad urges was possibly mutual, I decided to wait and see what he did at the end of the date. Which was a two-second hug and pat on shoulder. And I suspect that's the last I've heard from Will the divorce lawyer.

But while we were in a bar in Silverlake, I mentioned that I had recently been the foreperson on a jury trial.

"As a lawyer," I said, "If the defendant goes by two names, shouldn't you establish that right away? We spent two whole days thinking that Jesse Lopez and Socorro Lopez were two diff--"

"Wait," said Will. "You're not making up those names, right? Socorro aka Jesse Lopez? What was the trial about?"

"He was running a chop shop," I said. "Out of a tow yard."

"Not Classic Tow?"

"Yeah! Did you hear about it?"

"I'm suing him!" said Will. "On my own behalf-- the only time I've ever done that. He illegally towed my car, then he held it hostage and extorted $350 dollars to get it back! So he was running a chop shop too? Good God! That must be the most evil towing company ever!"

I said, "This is the most bizarre coincidence ever."

I wonder, if I ever get on OK Cupid again, if I'll end up dating some long-lost childhood friend, or the assistant of some agent who once rejected my book.

Comments

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

Hee! So strange. On many fronts.

I'm just...puzzled about the fantasy thing. I mean...does he not visit bookstores?

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

He does read, but apparently exclusively nonfiction, classics, and respectable mainstream lit. I'm puzzled that the existence of the MOVIE fantasy genre seems to have escaped him as well.

[slithytove.livejournal.com]

Fantasy-blindness may be startlingly common. J.K. Rowling has famously said that she didn't realize she was writing fantasy until someone told her. Like Monsieur Jourdan, who was shocked to be told that he had been speaking prose for forty years.

What would a fantasy-blind person think if they were comfortably reading a Tom Clancy novel, and it slowly turned into Charlie Stross's "A Colder War"? Would they take it in stride?

But when you think about, the distinction between realist fiction and fantasy may be quite recent. Shakespeare knew nothing of it.

[klwilliams.livejournal.com]

This date is obviously a step in the right direction, even if it may not go any further. :-)

[umadoshi.livejournal.com]

The world is creepily small. o_o (The failure to have even heard of fantasy is almost...sweet, in a weird way. But most peculiar.)

Glad you had a good time, whether or not anything more comes of it. ^^

[calepin.livejournal.com]

I had a "small, small, world" experience in Santa Fe last week, too. Odd!

On a different topic, did you ever read Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love?" Out in paperback now, & I thought of you when reading the section set on an Indian ashram... I'd be interested in your take on it!

Heather

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I haven't read it yet, due to the fear that the Indian ashram section would make me throw it across the room. What's her take on the ashram she stays at?

[calepin.livejournal.com]

She's very much with the program, and has an intense & positive experience. But she also doesn't take herself too seriously, or pretend to have all answers, so that's refreshing. I actually found some of the stuff she was talking about very helpful for understanding a couple of characters' relationship in my WIP.

Then I googled the ashram founder from the FAQ link on the author's website. About three links down is a page with allegations of sexual & fiscal misconduct, which left a sour taste. Not to take away from her spiritual achievements, I guess-- just a reminder that it's a complicated old world.

But even if you can't get through the India section, Italy & Bali are worth the cover price. A great voice-- one of those books where you want to read sentences out loud to someone.

[heyoka.livejournal.com]

See, this is my big fear? of trying to find someone through a dating thingy. That they'd turn out to be a hardcore mundane and we'd spend the evening just sorta twiddling our thumbs. I mean, I can talk about non-fannish non-geek stuff, honestly, but it gets unfun after a while.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

You could always put, "no mundanes," and define it. Although honestly, the whole dating thing has been pretty discouraging so far.

[herself-nyc.livejournal.com]

Wow.

[tammy212.livejournal.com]

I still applaud your courage in going through with it. I did the blind dating thing once, through a personals ad. It didn't turn out well in terms of a relationship, but I felt so good about myself for having done something that I never would have dared to try the year before.

And if it took you that long to explain fantasy to him, I'm not sure it was Meant to Be in any case. Just hope he doesn't subpoena you as a witness in his case, though I think as a juror you're safe!

Congratulations on a date well completed!