While driving with my Mom in the sleepy, touristy beachside town of Carmel, we were approaching their picturesque Fisherman's Wharf when we came alongside a small group of men picketing its parking lot.

They wore white shirts and red capes, and played bagpipes. Their picket signs read "PROTECT TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE" and "NO GAY 'MARRIAGE.'"

I rolled down the window and stuck out my head.

Me (berserk): "GAY RIGHTS!!!! GAY RIGHTS!!!! GO GAY MARRIAGE!!!!! GAY MARRIAGE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!"

("A well-reasoned, persuasive argument," remarked [livejournal.com profile] oyceter when I recounted it to her later.)

Caped homophobes: "FUCK YOU!!"

Mom: "BABA BABA BABA STOP!!!"

Apparently I had shrieked loudly enough to attract the attention of the car in front of me, which slammed on its brakes. I slammed on mine. As we parked, next to an SUV with McCain bumperstickers ("I bet it belongs to the bagpipe gay-haters!" I exclaimed. "I oughtta key it!" "Revenge only hurts the revengeful one," said Mom.) Mom scolded me for temper and lowering myself, and informed me that I had just proved that anger causes fenderbenders.

Me (still foaming at the mouth): "And those bagpipes! What an ironic choice of instrument. Putting that phallic pipe in their mouth... Sucking and blowing on that long, hard, rod... Squeezing and caressing the bag (isn't that slang for scrotum?) while they suck on that pipe just like a hard, fat cock..."

Mom: "DON'T TALK SO LOUD!!!"

Indeed, a group of tourists had fallen in behind us and were taking great interest in our conversation.

The next morning I read in the local paper that the caped homophobes were not local, but an anti-gay group of "lay Catholics" from Pennsylvania, who were making a 30-state anti-gay tour and had chosen Carmel because they had a friend there they could crash with. It also quoted a local woman who had grabbed a rainbow flag and, accompanied by her father, staged a counter-demonstration.

"One doesn't expect to see that sort of thing in Carmel," she said. "It was like the Hitler Youth!"

From: [identity profile] machineplay.livejournal.com


Obviously, people need to supply you with a megaphone and a supply of air horns; if you're going to do something, you should be able to do it LOUDLY. :) Go, you.

From: [identity profile] meganbmoore.livejournal.com


Capes? They were wearing capes?

*this is me restraining my urge to talk about how capes make superheroes look gay*

From: [identity profile] laurashapiro.livejournal.com


Why do you have so many great stories? (:
ext_808: (Campanile)

From: [identity profile] yasaman.livejournal.com


Random lurker here via friendsfriends. I had to comment, because omg, these guys were at UC Berkeley earlier this month. UC Berkeley's response? Instant "Vote No on Prop 8" counter demonstration, people stopping to argue with them, and best of all, people taking their pamphlets, sitting down, and burning them. I was tempted to stop and argue too, but alas, I had a class to get to.

I suppose I should be thankful that they didn't have bagpipes though, but they looked creepy enough with their weird cape things.

From: [identity profile] hokelore.livejournal.com


So are red capes the International Homophobe uniform? And if not, why in the world are they wearing them?

From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com


*dies laughing* That is the best thing I've heard all week.

From: [identity profile] tekalynn.livejournal.com


Your mother and my mother should get together, except then the world would probably end or something.

GOOD FOR YOU!

From: [identity profile] serrana.livejournal.com


Must admit, the part of this that made me laugh hardest was learning that your mom shouts, "BABA BABA BABA!" instead of "AAAURGH!" when you're about to rear-end someone.

(Yay gay marriage, indeed.)
ext_6284: Estara Swanberg, made by Thao (Default)

From: [identity profile] estara.livejournal.com


Wow, I wish I had your guts when I see something like that. Go you indeed!

From: [identity profile] sparkylibrarian.livejournal.com


I will never, ever, ever again be able to look at a man playing bagpipes without your words floating into my brain.... which is bad, because the school I work for hires a bagpiper for all its most solemn occasions.

From: [identity profile] cristalia.livejournal.com


("A well-reasoned, persuasive argument," remarked [livejournal.com profile] oyceter when I recounted it to her later.)

[livejournal.com profile] oyceter wins this anecdote. :D

From: [identity profile] leiliaxf.livejournal.com


You? Rock.

Also--your Mom? Bwahahahahahaha. (Wow, she still does that. And yes--I finished your book. You are amazing.)

From: [identity profile] redbrunja.livejournal.com


Me (still foaming at the mouth): "And those bagpipes! What an ironic choice of instrument. Putting that phallic pipe in their mouth... Sucking and blowing on that long, hard, rod... Squeezing and caressing the bag (isn't that slang for scrotum?) while they suck on that pipe just like a hard, fat cock..."

I almost killed myself on the orange I was eating when I read this and started cackling.
chomiji: Tenpou and Kenren from Saiyuki Gaiden; caption: Love is a land withoout borders (Tenpou-Kenren - no borders)

From: [personal profile] chomiji



You rock! And so does the woman quoted in the paper. (And the bagpipe analysis speech was excellent ... and I even like bagpipes ... .)



From: [identity profile] f4f3.livejournal.com


On behalf of all right-thinking Scots, I can only say, "Hands off our bag-pipes!"

From: [identity profile] cammykitty.livejournal.com


I will never look at bagpipes the same way again.

But I thought bagpipes were magical, and if played by an evil piper, they develop some sort of poison in their windbag and...

Go you!

From: [identity profile] faithhopetricks.livejournal.com


You TOTALLY RULE.

Also, I remember weekend trips to Carmel as a kid AND CAPE-WEARING BAGPIPE-SUCKING HOMOPHOBIC PROTESTS IN CARMEL? WHAT.THE.FUCKING.FUCK

From: [identity profile] oracne.livejournal.com


BAGPIPES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ext_343761: Moronna, IT (Default)

From: [identity profile] hekate101.livejournal.com


I'm very glad my family is out running errands, because if they were home they would undoubtedly be asking what I was laughing so loudly at.

Putting that phallic pipe in their mouth... Sucking and blowing on that long, hard, rod... Squeezing and caressing the bag (isn't that slang for scrotum?) while they suck on that pipe just like a hard, fat cock..."

That would be an awkward explanation.

(Btw, just in case you didn't get it the first fifteen times, you're awesome. Also - capes? Methinks the homophobes dost protest a bit too fairyish.)
.

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