This happened a while back, but I was recently reminded of it and I seem to have never told this story on LJ, or if I did I neglected to tag it.

Kate, do not read! Contains skittering.

I was house-sitting for my parents, who don't live in a particularly rural area but it does have enough greenery for coyotes, rabbits, and so forth.

The day before I had entered the house, only to be confronted at the doorway by a giant blood splatter, and then a trail of blood, obviously left by something being dragged, leading down a hallway. It looked just like a lurid murder scene, except that the victim was clearly smaller than a chicken. I followed the blood trail from room to room, noting the artistic addition of feathers and, in the guest bedroom, a sad twiglike bird foot, until I finally came upon the ritual sacrifice in the bathroom. I especially appreciated that the head was completely separated from the body and placed in an upright position.

The next night, I was recovering upon the couch, reading a book with my shoes kicked off, when Buffy, the evil cat, walked in with a tiny, adorable field mouse in his evil jaws. It was alive and seemingly completely unharmed. I leaped up, jammed my feet into my sneakers, and went for him. He ran into my parents' bedroom and hid under the bed. I dragged him out, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, and stuck my finger over his nose so he'd have to drop the mouse to breathe.

He dropped the mouse. It ran up the leg of my jeans.

For a moment I could not comprehend that such a thing was actually happening. I stood frozen while the small, possibly rabid animal skittered up my bare leg, its tiny claws pricking my ankle... my calf... my knee... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

I leaped up and madly shook my leg. My sneaker flew off my foot, the mouse flew out of my pants, and landed in the sneaker.

I swear, I'm not making this up.

Panting slightly, I retrieved the sneaker, saw that the mouse was huddled in the toe, and released it into the neighbor's yard.

And so I am perhaps one of the few people ever who has both set her pants on fire while naked and dripping wet, and had a mouse in her pants while wearing the pants. I feel like most people's pants adventures involve more sex, and I envy them.
oyceter: teruterubouzu default icon (Default)

From: [personal profile] oyceter


My rats have run up my pants before (and down my shirt!), but I suspect that is much more normal when they are your pets, as opposed to random field mice!
dhobikikutti: earthen diya (Default)

From: [personal profile] dhobikikutti

I woke up once to find a mouse running on me while I was sleeping in my bed. It was under the sheets, not over them.

I nonetheless share a shudder of sympathy with you.
ironed_orchid: pin up girl reading kant (Default)

From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid

I feel like most people's pants adventures involve more sex, and I envy them.

Perhaps the problem is that you are keeping your pants on.

From: [identity profile]

I award this a 5.5; there was a .5 deduction because the mouse was not actually on fire.

From: [identity profile]

Our cats occasionally catch mice that have taken refuge in the house in winter, but fortunately none have run up my pants leg. Yet.

Of course, there was the time a bat flew into the back of my head while I was washing dishes. That was disconcerting.

From: [identity profile]

Where can I read the setting-pants-on-fire story?

I have once had a bee fly up the leg of my pants (and sting me ;_;), and I've found a slug in my shoe by trying to put on the shoe ("oh no... why won't it fit anymore), but that mouse story really takes the cake, and also the whipped cream and the cherry on top.
ext_12512: Hinoe from Natsume Yuujinchou, elegant and smirky (Okami naptime)

From: [identity profile]

I've not had bees get in my clothes, fortunately (although the time I encountered a yellow jacket nest while lawnmowing and and got stung a few times AFTER fleeing indoors, thanks to wasps cunningly hiding inside my shirt, was pretty unpleasantly memorable).

Come to think of it, the only time I've been stung by a bee, the bee was dead first. Which makes for its own sort of improbable injury story...
ext_12512: Saiyuki's Sha Gojyo, angels with dirty faces (chibi angel kappa)

From: [identity profile]


(It was actually pretty mundane, if improbable -- a dead bee, presumably drowned, was floating in the gutter of a public pool; I was swimming, didn't see it floating there, and managed to put my hand down in precisely the wrong place.)

From: [identity profile]

Unless it was also a Nazi, you still don't beat this:

From: [identity profile]

Buffy is quite the performance artist.

We had a cat when I was growing up who would remove entire organ systems from mice, meticulously clean them of blood, and leave them spread on the carpet like little anatomical diagrams. How she managed it without front claws I've no idea.

From: [identity profile]

Cats are clever like that. Owning cats in areas where they can catch things is like living with a small, furry unsub from Criminal Minds.

From: [identity profile]

If it makes you feel any better, once while my family was camping (tents, picnic table, portable gas stove type of outdoorsy camping) my dad had a chipmunk run up his leg. Inside his pants while he was wearing them.

He later declared that it was the dumbest chipmunk in the world, and had mistaken his leg for a tree. Notably, this chipmunk did not have the excuse of an evil predator named after a Slayer; it just ran up his leg unpromptedly.

Ah, nature!

From: [identity profile]

I once found a giant garden spider in my jeans while I was wearing them. I'd just come in from mowing the lawn, and felt a scratchy thing under the hem of the leg, and assumed it was pine needles, as they had a way of doing that. Discovered otherwise when I reached down to get them out. :)

From: [identity profile]

B.A. Second year, staying at my grandparent's house for the exams. Showered, got ready, ran through the topics in my head...remembered I hadn't brushed, went in to brush. Felt something crawling up my leg, a big fat lizard...picked it up, threw it away...washed my hands...
4 hours later, after the exam, suddenly realised what had happened...freaked out big time as I have a lizard phobia...
ext_12512: Hinoe from Natsume Yuujinchou, elegant and smirky (STS Haru facepalm)

From: [identity profile]

Ooh, that reminds me of one that happened to my grandfather when I was very small. He was an outdoorsy type, hunted and fished all his life, and was perfectly comfortable dealing with frogs and turtles and snakes, even venomous ones. But somehow, the cute, harmless little geckos that live in and around houses in Hawai'i freaked him out to no end.

One morning, when my grandparents were visiting us in the islands, he woke up grumpy and complained to my grandmother that he'd had an absolutely horrible dream that geckos were crawling all over him all night long. When she went to make the bed, after he'd gone grumping off for coffee or a shower or what-not, she found a dead gecko in the sheets.

She and my mother both had a huge laugh over that, and never, ever told my grandfather what she found. XD
ext_124701: negativised photo of me (freaking out)

From: [identity profile]

House centipede (aprox 2" long) on shower pouf, discovered while pouf was in use. Yes, they bite.

From: [identity profile]

I have had a baby mouse run into my shorts while I was wearing them and sitting on the floor!

Similar situation, rescuing unharmed mouse from cat. Except it was morning, so the shorts were jersey-knit pajama shorts, and there was nothing on under them....

But I have still never set my pants on fire while naked and dripping wet.

From: [identity profile]

I've had a gerbil run up my pants leg, but I was 8, and thought it was funny.

From: [identity profile]

I think I've told the story of my cousin, the cat, the mouse, and the Nestle Quik can, which is similar in many respects, save that the mouse only ran over my cousin's shoe and not up his pants.
zdenka: Miriam with a tambourine, text "I will sing." (i approve)

From: [personal profile] zdenka

I have no story to match, but the way you describe things is excellent and hilarious.

From: [identity profile]

The fact that your 'it could only happen to Rachel' tag gets so much use both amuses and alarms me. Clearly, you did something in a past life that has prompted all this weirdness, but I have no idea what it might have been!

From: [identity profile]

I was once bit on the tongue by a spider. In its defense, I did bite first.

I had left a glass of water with a straw in on my bedside table overnight; the spider was looking for a nice little cranny to put up a web in... and I woke up thirsty.

From: [identity profile]

Oh, honey. I would feel sorry if I wasn't so busy laughing.

From: [identity profile]

The performance art with the dead bird is amazing.

The reason I don't allow spiders in the house is that when I was a teenager, one crawled inside my pjs and bit me while I was sleeping. It instantly became inflamed and infected, and I wound up in the ER, and then into a hospital bed for a week. Intravenous antibiotics the whole time--yucko.

The Pookie, by the way, becomes very fond of my yard's woodland friends. I once caught him lounging on the grass out back surrounded by a family of bunnies. Mom pointed out the bunnies to him, but he only he gave her his best 'Humans are endearing but dumb' look. He will gently herd the predatory cats from the yard if they try to make for the bunnies. Naturally, being the Pookie, he is also fond of cats so he's quite gentle and only does that they if they make for a bunny. I am kind of convinced he was a nanny in a previous life. Or possibly a kindergarten teacher.

From: [identity profile]

Nearly spilled my morning coffee all over the place. You're such a good writer, shrieking of laughter over here. :goes to click on the 'naked and dripping wet'tag:

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