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rachelmanija Jan. 8th, 2016 02:24 am)
rachelmanija Jan. 8th, 2016 02:24 am)In early November, I was prescribed a medication called Elavil, which is best-known as an old-school tricyclic antidepressant but which is also used for chronic pain. I was using it for the latter, as it was then believed that I had a chronic pain condition. (This is almost certainly not the case.) It typically has very sedating properties, and is sometimes used as a sleeping pill. I took it for four days, and during that time I was unable to sleep for more than three hours per 24-hour period, and for no longer than about 45 minutes at a time. This was not a manic episode. It was just physically impossible to sleep.
It is now over two months later. The medication has long since left my system, but I have not been able to sleep normally ever since. (in the interim, I also briefly tried Cymbalta, which had a similar though less severe effect.) I have tried something like nine different sleeping pills, sedatives, and combinations thereof, and every single one has either had no effect whatsoever, or else sort of worked (that is, it allowed me to get about six or seven hours of sleep - I normally get eight to ten) for about three days, then stopped working and never worked again.
In short, for the past two months I have averaged about 4-5 hours of sleep per 24-hour cycle. This is not normal insomnia. It does not respond to sleep hygiene or melatonin, in addition to not responding to drugs. It is not caused by anxiety or other psychological factors. I am currently taking 10mg of Valium before bed. This has been a total failure in terms of allowing me to sleep, but I promise you, I am not anxious on 10mg of Valium. As far as I can tell, the Elavil had a long-lasting effect on the part of my brain that regulates sleep, which I am hoping to God is not permanent given that 1) I am fucking exhausted, 2) I seem to be effectively immune to sedatives.
It is possible to survive indefinitely on very little sleep. Obviously, four hours is enough to keep me going, and just enough that I don't accumulate enough sleep debt that I can ever sleep for much longer than that.
I am going to attempt a hard reboot of my sleep center by not sleeping at all for two nights in a row (approximately 64 hours, counting the next day), starting tonight. I am hoping that will produce enough exhaustion that I will be able to sleep for eight hours or so when I finally do sleep, and that if I can manage that once more-or-less naturally, I might be able to re-set my sleep center to normal. (I chose 2 nights because 1 is probably insufficient given the magnitude of the problem, and 3 is edging into scary territory - that is where people sometimes start hallucinating, for instance.)
Pro: Might work. Not dangerous or harmful. (I won't drive, obviously).
Con: Will not be fun. May not work, in which case I will end up more exhausted than ever. Will be extra-difficult because 1) I am already extra-exhausted due to basically not sleeping for two months, 2) I am taking sedatives (Valium) and cannot stop taking them due to withdrawal.
Anyway, since I need to stay awake and writing is more awake-making than reading, I may attempt to catch up on book reviews. Please comment if you feel so moved. Or randomly email me. Anything to keep me awake. I need to not sleep AT ALL until about 11:00 PM Saturday night. (Microsleeps are probably okay and inevitable. But no more than a minute or so a a time.)
It is now over two months later. The medication has long since left my system, but I have not been able to sleep normally ever since. (in the interim, I also briefly tried Cymbalta, which had a similar though less severe effect.) I have tried something like nine different sleeping pills, sedatives, and combinations thereof, and every single one has either had no effect whatsoever, or else sort of worked (that is, it allowed me to get about six or seven hours of sleep - I normally get eight to ten) for about three days, then stopped working and never worked again.
In short, for the past two months I have averaged about 4-5 hours of sleep per 24-hour cycle. This is not normal insomnia. It does not respond to sleep hygiene or melatonin, in addition to not responding to drugs. It is not caused by anxiety or other psychological factors. I am currently taking 10mg of Valium before bed. This has been a total failure in terms of allowing me to sleep, but I promise you, I am not anxious on 10mg of Valium. As far as I can tell, the Elavil had a long-lasting effect on the part of my brain that regulates sleep, which I am hoping to God is not permanent given that 1) I am fucking exhausted, 2) I seem to be effectively immune to sedatives.
It is possible to survive indefinitely on very little sleep. Obviously, four hours is enough to keep me going, and just enough that I don't accumulate enough sleep debt that I can ever sleep for much longer than that.
I am going to attempt a hard reboot of my sleep center by not sleeping at all for two nights in a row (approximately 64 hours, counting the next day), starting tonight. I am hoping that will produce enough exhaustion that I will be able to sleep for eight hours or so when I finally do sleep, and that if I can manage that once more-or-less naturally, I might be able to re-set my sleep center to normal. (I chose 2 nights because 1 is probably insufficient given the magnitude of the problem, and 3 is edging into scary territory - that is where people sometimes start hallucinating, for instance.)
Pro: Might work. Not dangerous or harmful. (I won't drive, obviously).
Con: Will not be fun. May not work, in which case I will end up more exhausted than ever. Will be extra-difficult because 1) I am already extra-exhausted due to basically not sleeping for two months, 2) I am taking sedatives (Valium) and cannot stop taking them due to withdrawal.
Anyway, since I need to stay awake and writing is more awake-making than reading, I may attempt to catch up on book reviews. Please comment if you feel so moved. Or randomly email me. Anything to keep me awake. I need to not sleep AT ALL until about 11:00 PM Saturday night. (Microsleeps are probably okay and inevitable. But no more than a minute or so a a time.)
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All the positive thoughts. Am night owl, may do some of that random emailing. Have some pretty pics I can send of my current locale.
Sleep, omg, I hope you get to have a lot of it soon. My mild bouts with insomnia are just enough to give me empathy. A reboot would be so nice and I hope it works.
What book are you reviewing first? And will you address Chuck Tingle's ouvre around the 48 hour mark? (Were you the one who recognised their pen name, bastardized, in that one he did about the author Twitter gangbang or whatever it was?)
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I think I can do this. People I know who went through stuff like boot camp, police academy, etc, were universally of the opinion that I could not only do it but would not find it difficult. However, that sort of thing is a lot easier to do with others rather than solo. Lee Ermy screaming at me would actually make this significantly easier.
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http://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/172624.html?thread=934857296#cmt93485
It can't be you anyway 'cause they mention having a husband. And yeah you don't tweet that much. Mind you, the "not being a gay dinosaur" part is no help... XD
(I may have to buy this book. Do I have to buy this book? I think I do.)
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My sleep patterns are a mess, originally due to chronic pain issues. It used to be normal for me not to come down from the amount of pain I'd be in at the office until several hours post midnight, which meant either not enough sleep or delayed sleeping. I finally got the neurological explanation at the pain management course I did a couple of years ago - activation of the hypothalamus taking a prolonged time to come back down even after the initial pain stimuli is hours past - it's the fight or flight mechanism becoming chronically activated.
I've got the pain under much better control nowadays, but I still find it almost impossible to get to sleep before the early hours (admittedly I'm not vwey good at disciplining myself around this). Not working and living alone means I can arrange my day to suit my sleep schedule, but there are still times it gets very out of synch, to the point I'm essentially nocturnal, and I need to reset myself.
The best way I've found to do that is to stay awake for 36 hours or so - as I'm usually trying to achieve a 12 hour shift, not just a reset, so trying for 48 hours sounds like a sensible idea to me, for someone who needs the reset, but not a time-shift. The one caveat I'd throw in is be prepared to have to give it several tries as I find I often fall asleep too early in the process to get the shift I want.
I've been where you describe with your current sleep patterns once and it was brutal (a stress-triggered flare-up in my pain that had a month of not sleeping much more than an hour at a time, though I was probably getting a little more sleep in total), so fingers and toes crossed your plan works.
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Probably wise ;) I tried the Lyke Wake Walk back in my teens (40 miles across the North Yorks Moors in 24 hours) and was so tired by mid-way through I managed to trip over a dead sheep!
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For keeping yourself awake in the meantime- up to you if you want to draw on caffeine in addition to writing and conversation etc. To the best of current knowledge, caffeine mostly acts on how your body responds to built up sleep pressure (it temporarily reduces / alters adenosine receptor expression) and doesn't affect the circadian side of things. Ditto any napping 15min. or less, in that it'll dissipate a little sleep pressure but won't get deep enough to alter your eventual sleep timing (unless you were doing multiple such naps in a row).
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And Saturday morning type cartoons get funnier/more absorbing the less sleep you're running on, particularly if you have some you remember from your own childhood.
Funny things in general are good, actually.
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I have also done this before (but only for one night), and also because the reason for the insomnia was PTSD. Also accidentally due to extremely long/delayed flights. At some point a second wind kicks in. I didn't get to it this time, either because of the Valium (really an unfortunate med to be on while trying this) or because of my extremely unwise decision to "just rest my eyes for a moment" while sitting on a very comfy couch.
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What happens if you do: you have to clean up flour everywhere while functioning somewhere between a bad flu and very drunk after the second wind dies down. And you get subpar bread. Not a disastrous outcome, but I still don't recommend it.
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I wish to God your psychiatrist had an answer for this one. You are in my thoughts.
Random thought -- does winter/daylight/circadian rhythms/lightboxes have anything for you that might help? Maybe as an assist?
Anyway. I'm sure you thought of that already.
Again: Good luck!!!
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Flying to Europe and therefore having a night without sleep usually fixes my screwed up sleep patterns, but this sounds so much worse and weirder than anything I have ever had that I hesitate even to compare.
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(Email I can do either way.)
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Would talking to people help you stay awake? I wake up during the night, and sometimes just don't fall asleep until very late. I could call you, and try not to bore you to sleep.
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