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1a. "Internet publishing" is a scam. Real publishers pay you, you don't pay them.
1b. Because you're not getting paid, you're losing money, bookstores won't carry books from those scam publishers so no one will ever see it, and real reviewers won't review it.
1c. Get a copy of Writer's Market.
2. I'm sorry, but I don't collaborate with other people.*
*Unless you're a manga artist, someone whom I already know and who already has professional credits, or someone who I approached first.
3. I'm sorry, but I don't hire musicians.
4. I'm sorry, but I can't introduce you to anyone at the Jim Henson Company.
5. Six months to write the first draft, and a year and a half to revise it.
6. Starbucks.
Special bonus response to something that wasn't a question:
Please don't do that, I don't like people touching my face.
1b. Because you're not getting paid, you're losing money, bookstores won't carry books from those scam publishers so no one will ever see it, and real reviewers won't review it.
1c. Get a copy of Writer's Market.
2. I'm sorry, but I don't collaborate with other people.*
*Unless you're a manga artist, someone whom I already know and who already has professional credits, or someone who I approached first.
3. I'm sorry, but I don't hire musicians.
4. I'm sorry, but I can't introduce you to anyone at the Jim Henson Company.
5. Six months to write the first draft, and a year and a half to revise it.
6. Starbucks.
Special bonus response to something that wasn't a question:
Please don't do that, I don't like people touching my face.