For reasons that really don't bear rehashing, I spent the last two years getting told to go on diets. Every kind of diet. No "nightshades." No acid. No gluten. No dairy. Low-FODMAP (bans dairy, gluten, soy, legumes, and half of all fruits and vegetables.) Low-fat. "Eat nothing but bone broth that you made yourself, and if you don't simmer it for six hours, it's no good." "Microwaving food destroys its nutrients." At one point I had successive doctors tell me to go on a low-fiber diet and a high-fiber diet.

Every single diet-pusher, whether doctor or rando, said or implied (usually explicitly said), "If you don't do this, you'll never get better. Don't you want to get better?"

This was especially infuriating given that I was so underweight that I had symptoms of malnutrition. And also that in two years of dieting, there had never once been any indication whatsoever that my illness was caused by diet or that changing my diet was helpful. I eventually came to the conclusion that Americans are fucking insane about food and that a primary manifestation of sexism is controlling women by controlling what they eat.

Anyway, I am not dieting now. But now that I am slightly less likely to hit NEON RAGE APOCALYPSE at the word "diet," I clicked on a link and fell into an internet rabbit hole of diet advice. Like the evolved forager that I am, I bring you my findings for amusement, analysis, and mockery:

- A comparison of wild fruits and vegetables with cultivated ones, concluding that eating fruits and vegetables is unhealthy because they are unnatural and not what the cavemen ate.

By that reasoning there is literally nothing we can eat unless we get air-dropped into some untouched stretch of rainforest to forage for wild bananas.

- Eating fruit makes you fat.

- Humans did not evolve to eat fruit.

We're PRIMATES. Monkeys love bananas.

- Corn causes Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

- Corn causes ADHD.

- Corn causes autism.

- Corn causes cancer.

- Broccoli causes cancer.

- Hot water causes cancer.

The last one, from a study saying that drinking hot beverages can cause cancer, had the best response: David Spiegelhalter, a professor of the Public Understanding of Risk at Britain's University of Cambridge, said: "In the case of very hot drinks, the IARC concludes they are probably hazardous, but can't say how big the risk might be," according to the Australian Financial Review. "This may be interesting science, but makes it difficult to construct a sensible response."

- A Breatharian – as defined in the book A Year Without Food – is a person who chooses to live mostly, or completely, from Pranic nourishment. Israeli author Ray Maor claims that once Breatharians have trained their body to absorb this energy from the air and sunlight, they are no longer dependent on food. Many of them continue to taste food for enjoyment, but do not need it for survival, he says.


- Brian J. Ford has suggested that ketosis, possibly caused by alcoholism or low-carb dieting, produces acetone, which is highly flammable and could therefore lead to apparently spontaneous combustion.

The Atkins diet will make you burst into flame!

- Our ancestors NEVER ate a carb. They ate meat and fat and that was it. On that diet, they grew, improved their lot, invented the wheel, survived in caves and hinted in groups.

Bad history aside (even in the Arctic, people ate seaweed and lichen), anyone who's ever lived in a small town or attended school knows that a major human activity is indeed hinting in groups.
shati: TEDDY BEAR version of the queen seondeok group photo. (Default)

From: [personal profile] shati

I eventually came to the conclusion that Americans are fucking insane about food and that a primary manifestation of sexism is controlling women by controlling what they eat.

The only good food theory!

Youtube recommends me raw vegan videos constantly (um, because I keep clicking on the recs). The Raw Till 4 diet where you don't eat cooked food, just raw fruit, until after 4 pm is my favorite (why?? why 4 pm??) but the concept of monomeals, "cooked food addiction," and the potato cleanse are fascinating at 2 am. I think they are at least cooked potatoes.

And then I realize I'm watching a lot of adults tell an audience that appears to be almost all teenage girls/young women to eat nothing but raw fruit so they can be "healthy" (measured by thinness) and then it's gross. The really pervasive sense of "You're not eating how I think you should, so you caused every health problem you have by consuming [in these cases, animal products]" is even worse -- I've seen more than one video telling a Youtuber that his cancer was his fault.

And at this point in my life I've seen explanations for why I shouldn't eat literally every food. Including, like, spinach and broccoli (cancer is new, though, I think what I saw was thyroid problems).
ironed_orchid: pin up girl reading kant (Default)

From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid

It's not like people who are alive now don't eat insects on purpose.

More stuff about things Indigenous Australians ate, this time it's Ngunnawal people:
In summer, people visited the high country where the Bogong moth, in millions or billions, could be found hiding in rocky crevices to survive the warmer weather. The moths were rich in stored fats and oils and were enthusiastically eaten (some say the taste resembles peanut butter). The moths were shaken and teased out from under rocky overhangs into nets and then roasted on a fire. Some were smoked and stored as cakes for use in more difficult times.

ironed_orchid: pin up girl reading kant (Default)

From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid

Of course not. I bet deep fried tarantula with satay sauce would meet most paleo standards (unless they have restrictions on deep frying).
muccamukk: Text: Geishas were female Korean military leaders with lots of power. (Politics: Bad history! Bad!)

From: [personal profile] muccamukk

I don't think you're supposed to cook anything. But lightly fried grasshoppers were a popular seasonal treat when I worked in Uganda, often just spitted over an open fire, even. No takers? Anyone?
conuly: (Default)

From: [personal profile] conuly

Most paleo eaters also seem to ban potatoes (or at least only eat them in small quantities) and refined sugars, with a serious side-eye given to molasses, honey, or maple syrup.
muccamukk: Picture of a crowned crane, the national bird of Uganda. (Lights: Uganda)

From: [personal profile] muccamukk

Oh, I though it was like Food of our Ancestors, but that's the Raw Food people probably. I can never keep them straight.

I didn't. I was just leaving as they were coming into season, and the one night they were on the menu I'd skipped dinner for some reason (I may have been in a different area?). I was offered cold left-over fried grasshoppers for breakfast the next day, but that was not very appealing. Likewise little bags sold by roadside vendors.

I was way too inexperienced to have gone, and had untreated depression which didn't combine well with malaria meds/malaria, the grinding poverty of nearly everyone in the rural area the project was in, and being deep in the closet. I don't think I did any harm, but I did very little good, on the whole.
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)

From: [personal profile] rydra_wong

*polite cough*

Actually, some of the more sensible paleo/primal/ancestral health crowd are very into eating insects. Eco-friendly sustainable large-scale source of high-quality animal protein, as definitely eaten by our ancestors (and plenty of our contemporaries in many countries)! Feed the world, eat crunchy crickets!

Which is why cricket flour is suddenly a lot more expensive.

*continues crunching*
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)

From: [personal profile] rydra_wong

This is a bit ironic as I normally eat in a manner vaguely resembling paleo when left to my own devices.

Likewise. I lean gently in that direction as that seems to be what my individual body is happiest with -- not that I don't eat paleo-forbidden foods, just that my body seems to run best when my meals are built primarily on meat/fish/veg/fruit.

What does cricket flour taste like? I mean, what does stuff made with it taste like?

ironed_orchid: pin up girl reading kant (Default)

From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid

Ooh, or even a bulking/binding agent for things like fish cakes and patties.
rydra_wong: Close-up of the moulded design on a bar of Grenada Chocolate Company chocolate. (food -- grenada chocolate)

From: [personal profile] rydra_wong

I need to get hold of another bag and do some more experiments! That was how I discovered that it's abruptly harder to get hold of and more expensive now people are making protein bars with (a usually fairly small percentage of) cricket flour in them.

Thinking about it now, the slight savouriness might go well with honey, and maybe tahini -- a quasi-halva thing could be worth a go ...
monanotlisa: Diana as Diana Prince in glasses and a hat, lifting the rim of the latter rakishly. HOT! (Default)

From: [personal profile] monanotlisa

And they're tasty, too. Had crickets in Mexico, which boasts 500 or so edible insects -- historically consumed with gusto.
conuly: (Default)

From: [personal profile] conuly

With no acids breaking down our food, they quickly start to ferment and rot in the humid, dark interiors of our bodies.

...exactly what does he imagine the difference is between food "breaking down" and "rotting"? I mean, I wouldn't normally describe digestion as a controlled, useful rot, but....
devon: (Horrible sunny)

From: [personal profile] devon

We know what gets digested first by seeing what is in vomit. There's rarely meat, but there are often raw or medium-cooked vegetables.

Everyone mentions corn, of course, and it's true - it's a starchy vegetable that just takes longer to break down. You won't see any meat unless it's an insta-purge caused by dramatic food poisoning.

(I've given myself plenty of food poisoning bc of poor food hygeine at home. Leaving stuff out too long, mainly - not actually contaminating it.)
monanotlisa: Diana as Diana Prince in glasses and a hat, lifting the rim of the latter rakishly. HOT! (Default)

From: [personal profile] monanotlisa

Yeah -- tomatoes are clearly Trouble for our digestive systems, for example. And bless their hearts, but folks like me with IBS and other conditions are not going to go for any of that raw bullshit; vegetables work best for me when they're nicely cooked (though I puree my salads, which also helps greatly).
devon: from LARP attack - see 08jul2005 on my LJ (Default)

From: [personal profile] devon

I'm the same re: raw veggies. My doctor said to make sure I cook my broccoli properly. I'm not into this restaurant trend where it's only been warmed up. >.<

I've never heard of pureed salads. I guess it'd be like a spinach smoothie with some bonus ingredients? I run a little anemic from a medication I have to take, so maybe that would do me good and also be easy on my digestion.

Thanks for the idea!

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