asakiyume: (Aquaman is sad)
asakiyume ([personal profile] asakiyume) wrote in [personal profile] rachelmanija 2022-10-13 11:49 am (UTC)

For sure! Not great, and an unsuccessful storytelling choice, kind of like the person who wants to show that a person or situation is bored or boring by writing a boring scene: NO. You don't want bored readers. You want interested readers who understand that the situation is boring. If this author wanted to make that gotcha point about infections (gotcha points are annoying in and of themselves so I'm not sure that was a good decision in the first place), she could have, oh ... done it with someone who wasn't the viewpoint character? Doing it with the main character is annoying and seems unskillful from a storytelling point of view.

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