Railed by the Easter Bunny, by Dalia Davies

[rachelmanija]

Read for the local bookstore's Smut Club. Every month we read a book of our own choice in a set subgenre (cowboys, military, etc), plus a selected short, silly book like this.

I don't know what you would expect from a book with this title, but I was expecting a contemporary in which a modern woman goes on an Easter egg hunt and gets... you got it. Nope! It's set in a fantasy world in which our heroine, Lily, is in an unhappy marriage to an asshole part-God, flees when he throws a vase at her, and goes to the Valley of the Old Gods to request help from the Goddess Ester. Ester offers her a choice: freedom from her bad marriage, or freedom plus rulership of her asshole husband's kingdom... if she'll agree to bear Ester's son's baby and leave the kingdom to him when he comes of age. Lily chooses the latter, and goes off to fuck a God.

This was a lot more worldbuilding than I expected, and it was pretty cute. The true batshit doesn't kick in until Lily is transported to a nightclub (okay...) and told to go to a back room to meet Eeebie. Who turns out to be E.B. The Easter Bunny. Who also goes by Jack, presumably because Eeebie isn't sexy.

Jack is very vaguely described. He has rabbit ears and at least some white fur, but from the description, I was picturing a hot dude with rabbit ears and white chest fur.

Then I turned the page and hit an illustration. It's the only one in the book, and I had no idea there would be any, so it functioned as a jump scare.

NSFW.





And then we get a long, loving description of his rabbit cock. It's pointy, like a giant pencil, and cums an enormous amount of liquid marshmallow fluff. Just what you want up your hoo-hah! You'd need a quick assignation with the God of Yogurt after that.

Jack gives Lily some magic chocolate eggs, she boots out her evil husband, and settles down to have Jack's horrifying monster baby and rule the kingdom in his name for the next eighteen years... with periodic visits to Jack. Who apparently lives in the back room of a nightclub.

Apart from the pointy dick, there's really not much monstery about the sex. If I'm into sex with a giant humanoid rabbit, I would want more rabbit descriptions. Maybe the rabbitfuckers are buying this solely for the art.

Comments

[helen_keeble]

Now I desperately want the bunnyfucker book where the eight foot tall ripped rabbit man has a (proportionally) micro dick and the heroine is all OH THANK GOD because that means it’ll actually fit.

[helen_keeble]

Aaaaaand now I’m imagining the plot involving the horny heroine desperately trying to get railed by various monstrously large beast men, all of whom are not interested because they’d like to get more than just the tip wet, thanks.

ENTER THE BUNNYMAN and his rodent-dick pals to save the day!

[ratcreature]

Though I think among primates compared to our size, humans are the ones with penises on the large end, maybe even largest? I remember reading somewhere that even though gorillas are quite a bit larger than we are, their penises are significantly smaller than human ones... Though others mammals get much bigger both absolutely and relative to size.

Still, now I'm imagining the fantasy world where other species go to the humans for their size kink monster fucking needs.

[rachelmanija]

Jack does some magic to enable Lily to take his entire GIANT POINTY RABBIT COCK.