Cool bits, cracktastic bits

[rachelmanija]

telophase has created a Cool Bits story generator.

The narrative is about triumph beating the odds. Romance blossoms between a scholar and a woman with a gun, while difficulties they encounter include sex against a wall and nothing being as it seems.

oyceter said that someone should make a Cracktastic Bit generator. I here solicit suggestions of cracktastic bits. They can be from any genre or media, though I do think that manga and anime gives great cracktastic.

By "cracktastic," I mean giant talking soldier ducks, giant robot chickens, heads in jars, heads in jars because the villain cut them off and put them there and hopes to clone the body and revive it so he can kill the person again, random incest, exploding heads, cannibal zombie angels, giant floating eyeballs, diseases that make your head spontaneously fall off, attacking floating fetuses, boys dressed in girls' sailor suit uniforms, "I cross-dress because it's so relaxing!" transformations into pandas, adorable chibi side illustrations of eyeballs on a platter, characters wearing kimono in Victorian London, little boys with bags over their heads and an axe in their hand, librarian chickens in tennis shoes and bonnets, possessed cockatiels, conjoined twin villains, combat butlers, butlers named Rifael Rafael, prosthetic limbs that double as any kind of weapon but especially guns or rocket-launchers, tentacle rape, characters with missing eyes (it's a thing), "Whatever you brought home, make sure you share it with your brothers! Oh... it's a wife?"

You know. Stuff like that.

What are your favorite cracktastic bits?

Comments

[larryhammer]

Meeting a penguin in the street, and it follows you home, and lets you feed it and everything -- and you CAN'T KEEP IT.

A green-haired five-year-old who has never met a swing. Nor an air conditioner. Nor a doorbell. Nor knows what school is. Who thinks cicadas are fairies.

Detatchable pigtails. That let you fly.

Aliens crash land on your body and reconstruct you with the wrong sex. (And then move into your closet, and eventually officiate at your underage lesbian wedding at the top of a phantom staircase that's over the snowfalling rainbow.)

Santa is a chick on a hovercycle. Who brings you a little sister in a sack.

Death is a cutie in a kimono riding a flying oar.

Rosa Chinensis en bouton petite sœur.

Now that you have a terminal illness, here's a comfort clone, tailored to be your perfect companion, and oh by the way she'll die around the same time you will.

And finally: "Eventually he lost patience and called a duck into the story."

---L.

[oyceter]

Speaking of penguins, penguins that live in the freezer of an apartment in post-apocalyptic Tokyo.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Is that different from the hot-water penguin that lives in the bathtub in an apartment in post-apocalyptic Tokyo?

[larryhammer]

'K, where's THAT from?

---L.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Neon Genesis Evangelion. The show as a whole is not that crack-heavy, until the last two episodes, which make up for the relative lack of insanity earlier by being the single weirdest thing I've ever seen in any anime ever.

[larryhammer]

I've been meaning to watch that for a while. Maybe it's time to add it to the queue.

---L.

[oyceter]

Wait, are those the same penguin? It's Pen-Pen, right?

He lives in the bathtub AND the freezer! Rock.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Yep, Pen-Pen. I only remember the bathtub, and Misato's explanation that he was a hot-water penguin. (Misato rocked! If the whole show had been about her, it would have been so much less angsty and insane. Probably.)