I watched a fire-safety filmstrip in kindergarten which has apparently scarred generations of children.

Narrator: "Touch the doorknob. If the fire is outside the door, the knob will be warm. Don't go out. Stuff wet towels under the door and wait for help to arrive. Or climb out a window!"

Me, at 5: My bedroom is on the second floor. Also, the bathroom where both water and towels are is outside the door. I am doomed.