I think there's something else behind this one: Some accusations of rape that are truthful involve rapes that the perpetrators, through cluelessness and acculturation, didn't realize were rapes. The fear here is, I think, partly from men who've heard of cases where the man thought it wasn't rape, and worry that this could happen to them.
Now, the real solution is for these mean to learn that "you don't think is rape" is not the standard they should be using. Instead, they ought to positively determine that their partner *wants* to do whatever it is they're about to do, and they ought to consider whether she will feel positively about it later on, and ask questions if they're not sure. In the course of thinking about these things, they'll also lose their fear of false accidentally doing something they think is fine and the woman later calls rape.
Statistics about how unusual true false accusations are, and how hard it is for women to accuse, would not, I think, diffuse this myth for the men who have it, because it's probably not just the actually-false accusations that they fear (whether they realize it or not).
Re: how to respond to one of those myths (1)
Now, the real solution is for these mean to learn that "you don't think is rape" is not the standard they should be using. Instead, they ought to positively determine that their partner *wants* to do whatever it is they're about to do, and they ought to consider whether she will feel positively about it later on, and ask questions if they're not sure. In the course of thinking about these things, they'll also lose their fear of false accidentally doing something they think is fine and the woman later calls rape.
Statistics about how unusual true false accusations are, and how hard it is for women to accuse, would not, I think, diffuse this myth for the men who have it, because it's probably not just the actually-false accusations that they fear (whether they realize it or not).