"In fact, don't have kids unless you really, really want them!"
I agree, but I'm not sure that that is the answer here. I believe a person can want to be a parent/movie actor/President of the United States badly enough to land the job, and yet screw it up by avoiding the responsibilities that the situation entails.
I think the issue is follow-through. You can be completely unempathetic and still have follow-through. You can hate your spouse, kids, and the life you wound up in, and yet make sure that there is food on the table and clothes on people's backs and appropriate supervision when necessary, just like at any other job.
As for selfishness...we are all either selfish or else kidding ourselves. I'd even say a little selfishness is a good thing, because it's necessary in order to stand up for oneself. But it's a separate issue, and furthermore it's a red herring because I can use that word to describe any choice with which I disagree. And since "society" is not homogenous, some group will curse you for whatever choice you make, which means that you're damned no matter what you do.
For instance: Having kids and raising the next generation: Selfless if you agree with my choice. But selfish, if you believe that we should strive for zero population growth and that kids use up too many resources, with their diapers and their plastic toys and outgrowing clothes every six months, yet insisting on buying the latest fashion at the mall. And whatever choice I make, if I do it so that some group pats me on the head and says, "good girl," is that selfish because it's for approval?
And I think my point before I edited this was that if you try and make it a balancing act in the hopes of satisfying the ideals/responsibilities that all sides request, you will please nobody and be damned by everyone.
But follow-through,aka satisfying the responsibilities you already have, is the way to do the right thing. In my opinion.
no subject
"In fact, don't have kids unless you really, really want them!"
I agree, but I'm not sure that that is the answer here. I believe a person can want to be a parent/movie actor/President of the United States badly enough to land the job, and yet screw it up by avoiding the responsibilities that the situation entails.
I think the issue is follow-through. You can be completely unempathetic and still have follow-through. You can hate your spouse, kids, and the life you wound up in, and yet make sure that there is food on the table and clothes on people's backs and appropriate supervision when necessary, just like at any other job.
As for selfishness...we are all either selfish or else kidding ourselves. I'd even say a little selfishness is a good thing, because it's necessary in order to stand up for oneself. But it's a separate issue, and furthermore it's a red herring because I can use that word to describe any choice with which I disagree. And since "society" is not homogenous, some group will curse you for whatever choice you make, which means that you're damned no matter what you do.
For instance: Having kids and raising the next generation: Selfless if you agree with my choice. But selfish, if you believe that we should strive for zero population growth and that kids use up too many resources, with their diapers and their plastic toys and outgrowing clothes every six months, yet insisting on buying the latest fashion at the mall. And whatever choice I make, if I do it so that some group pats me on the head and says, "good girl," is that selfish because it's for approval?
And I think my point before I edited this was that if you try and make it a balancing act in the hopes of satisfying the ideals/responsibilities that all sides request, you will please nobody and be damned by everyone.
But follow-through,aka satisfying the responsibilities you already have, is the way to do the right thing. In my opinion.