Sex! Sex! Sex!

[rachelmanija]

[Poll #1799574]

Final paper is looming terrifyingly on the horizon. I have limited time this week, and it is due Monday. I have widely varying knowledge on the topics I listed on the poll, but I would have to do substantial research for any of them. So if anyone has tips like, "This one slim volume is the single best resource on the soul-figure/asexuality/fisting which can be read in a short period of time," please go for it! (These are not all the possible topics. They're drawn from a much longer list, whittled down considerably by factors like lack of interest and the phrase "object relations," which in my very short experience so far tends to point to excessively eye-glazing articles.)

I got so frazzled last week that I misread the due date for the final paper for another class, and madly wrote and turned it in yesterday... a week early. I guess that turned out to be a good thing, all things considered.

Also, I have to register for classes tomorrow and am worried that I won't be able to get into the classes I am most dying to take, now that I know who the best professors are.

Given my current state of stress-driven absent-mindedness, I should probably mention now, since it randomly popped into my mind, that there is a new Sarah Tolerance book out! I have my own copy of The Sleeping Partner: A Sarah Tolerance Mystery, and am saving it for the winter break, when I will have more relaxed time to read. Also, Sherwood Smith's Blood Spirits (Coronets and Steel), sequel to Coronets and Steel, is out! I read it in manuscript, and it is excellent. Both series will satisfy all your "women who fight with swords amidst a background of history and intrigue" needs.

ETA: Okay, I'm doing fisting. I found the Pat Califia essay I had recalled. It's called "Gay Men, Lesbians, and Sex," and it's worth reading. On Google Books. If anyone has further good fisting resources, online or offline, keep them coming!

Comments

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Here's your go-to resource for fisting: A Hand In The Bush (http://www.amazon.com/Hand-Bush-Fine-Vaginal-Fisting/dp/1890159026/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322685741&sr=1-1).

[thomasyan.livejournal.com]

So many interesting topics; the first three listed and asexuality would probably be my top choices. But given your limited time, finishing a ten page does seem daunting. Good luck!

If you do go with BDSM, I hope you'll look into what I've heard anecdotally and from one researcher^[*]: Apparently, a large proportion (the vast majority) of people practicing BDSM were abused in some form as kids.

^[*] As I recall, she led a discussion after a screening of Secretary, and she mentioned it and/or I asked her about this afterward (since a straw poll on alt.sex.bondage answered this strongly in the affirmative), and she said that was what she was studying. So I asked if she'd let me see a draft or let me know when she was ready to publish; she said yes, and then I never heard from her. Unfortunately, I didn't write down her name.

[oracne.livejournal.com]

I recall that Suzie Bright's Lesbian Sex World had a good essay on fisting...which I read over a decade ago, but it was short!

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Awesome, thank you!

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I've heard that too, but it's a little hard to untangle from the question, "But are people who are into BDSM AND willing to talk about it to researchers also more open to discussing "taboo" sex-related issues in general?" But it's an interesting question. I'll see if there's any actual statistics.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Pat (now Patrick) Califia had a very memorable essay on fisting which made me understand the appeal, or at least the appeal to him. I think it might have been in Leatherfolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice.

[thomasyan.livejournal.com]

Heh, good title. Thanks for the rec; I've placed an order! (And grumbled in my LJ about a small usability roadblock.)

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Also, October 21 is International Fisting Day! (Link is surprisingly worksafe.)

[mme-hardy.livejournal.com]

Sequel to Coronets and Steel SQUEEEE! (I"d already read The Sleeping Partner, also squee.)

I suggested Therapy With Rape Survivors because I'm sure it's something you will be glad to have researched in your counseling career.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

I've heard 'people with highly medicalized childhoods'.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

Also a section in Good Vibrations guide to sex.

(vaginal fisting different from anal - would you do both?)

[oursin.livejournal.com]

You do not need to plough through Laqueur's Solitary Sex to write about masturbation - if you want to look at the history of horrormongering over selfabuse, I can point you at some articles.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

One of my theories on vaginal fisting - lots of stuff in there to help us through childbirth - stimulating it all at once can be weirdly transcendent in the same kinds of ways that give new moms oxytocin/memory loss/pain reduction?

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

You will enjoy Blood Spirits. ;)

I'm pretty sure I will eventually be taking entire classes on therapy for rape survivors, or at least partially focused on that - I'm doing a double concentration in Spiritual and Depth Psychology, and on Non-Combat Trauma. The latter is primarily focused on domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual trauma.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Oh, that makes tons of sense. I am now leaning toward fisting. Er, as a paper topic.

Also, have a hilarious Amazon comment: "I was looking for tips on new things to do once I have my fist in my wife, and didn't find any."

[mme-hardy.livejournal.com]

In that case, definitely go with fisting, based on other people's recommendations for easy-to-find resources.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Like Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist?

[mme-hardy.livejournal.com]

IIRC the Bradley technique actually recommends prenatal fisting, although they call it "stretching the perineum". Look it up, don't trust me.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

I've had people say they got to a point where orgasm was irrelevant.

[mearagrrl.livejournal.com]

Ooh! I had no idea there was a new Sarah Tolerance!! I randomly ended up with those after a trip to a used bookstore and was very disappointed it was not a longer series at the time.

I'd read most any of those as a paper, with interest, but I think since you listed Asexuality twice, it's a sign you should do it.

[lferion]

Another book that looks useful is Trust: The Hand Book: A Guide to the Sensual and Spiritual Art of Handballing (Link goes to Amazon, though I'm sure it could be gotten elsewhere.)

[movingfinger.livejournal.com]

I made a vote, but...

My approach would be (given the deadline) to figure out what topic I could get hold of the most credible resources on, quickly, and do that.

[torrilin.livejournal.com]

Agreed. Sadly, I have no useful resource suggestions, so it looks to me like fisting is it.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

I'd recommend reading both. Bert Herman's book predates Deborah Addington's, and has quite a different focus. Disclaimer: I have minor professional ties with both authors under my Mistress Lorelei pen name. (http://mistressmanual.com/)

Also, you should check out this resource for (fundamentalist) Christians: Fisting and God's Will. (http://www.sexinchrist.com/fist.html) The author is right that fisting is a profoundly spiritual experience for both giver and receiver.

[neery.livejournal.com]

Apparently, a large proportion (the vast majority) of people practicing BDSM were abused in some form as kids.

Huh, I've never heard that from a kink-positive or kink-neutral person before, although I've heard it from the "Those kinky people are all fucked in the head and need to be in therapy For Their Own Good" fraction, and immediately discounted it because of the source, and because it runs counter to my own anecdotal experience. Interesting!