In which I inaugurate a podcast

[rachelmanija]

I was interviewed for the first episode of a new podcast, Reasons Not to Quit, by the brilliant Hanne Blank. The podcast interviews people who had reasons to quit and didn't; she's got some amazing guests lined up for future episodes.

Here's my interview. I discuss my horrific medical ordeal of 2015-2017, the kindness of friends including several of you reading this, and namedrop Jeff Vandermeer, Michael Swanwick, and George MacDonald. There's both a podcast and a transcript.

Content notes: Medical gaslighting, suicidal thoughts, climate change. But there's jokes too. I think it's more uplifting than depressing.

If nothing else you should click the link to see a delightful portrait of Alex, wrapped around the neck of a typically unflattering selfie of myself. (I take the worst selfies. A 13-year-old friend said I always make a face like a grumpy old man.)

Comments

[pameladean]

Alex's expression is gorgeous. As for the selfie face, a lot of people have that. I think it's just from concentrating on getting what you want in the photo. I always look as if I have a migraine when I try it.

That was a fabulous interview: Hanne is awesome and you interview very well. You're also awesome, as far as that goes.

P.

[rachelmanija]

Thank you!

[lirazel]

I listened to it the day it came out and appreciated it very much!

[kass]

I enjoyed that a bunch!

[watersword]

Very grateful for the transcript, which I read & enjoyed.

[tigerflower]

You are (and the interview is) so fabulous. Thank you again!

Forgive my covid-addled self; I had "email Rachel!" in the to-do list and wow, so many things on that list just didn't get done last week. (Some of them are still not getting done *this* week.)

[house_wren]

I very much appreciated what you had to say on Hanne Blank's new podcast. I have been without hope about a certain situation in my life, and I keep just taking small actions so I won't feel completely powerless. So "You don't need hope to persevere" was really speaking to me. Thank you.

[kathmandu]

Wow, you have been doing research on the layers of bias in our society. I'm not really surprised that bringing a random man got you better responses, but I would not have expected that claiming to be engaged *to a woman* would still produce some improvement. That's fascinating.

And so much sympathy to you for the whole "you're making it up, you enjoy starving to death" and even after tests proved there were physical problems, "it doesn't fall exactly into one of these two boxes, so even though it's clearly in the neighborhood of the boxes, we're going to keep pretending it doesn't exist". That is so wrong.

[greenwoodside]

It was a great interview and the whole experience sounds so utterly nightmarish and kind of Kafka-esque with added misogyny.

[dhampyresa]

I can't believe Mewjesty Alex is only credited as "and friend" :'(

[mildred_of_midgard]

This was a great interview. I can't say how glad I am that you came out on the other side and can write,

my life is actually pretty good right now. You know, it's, it's full of I have interesting things. I have clients. I have writing. I have cats. I have chickens. I have a forest. I have hobbies that I'm learning, like hang gliding and pottery making, and I have books.

<3

Or, you know, getting your friends to do research for you, things like that. You know, do it. Because if the system doesn't help you, there are other systems.

Like I said at the time, you really wrote your way out. It wasn't just the Bulgarian tests, it was the full year and a half's worth of detailed data from tests, treatments, symptoms, and side effects, with precise dates, that allowed me to do that kind of research.

[carbonel]

I appreciate the transcript, since I generally do better with that than vocal interviews.

However, at least in my browser, the transcript has all the lines the same length, which means most of the end-of-line words break in the middle. Might be worth mentioning to Hanne, since it might be a simple fix.

[mildred_of_midgard]

I (since I struggle with audio format as well, and thus also appreciate the transcript) had the same problem. There aren't even any dashes, it just looks like this:

establishment that is just determined to tell you that there's nothing wrong with you w
hen you're dying. So it was very tempting to quit in the sense of just stop trying, stop s
eeing doctors, just forget about it.

I'm using Chrome.