since i read way too much yaoi these days, all this crack is yaoi tropes, and i don't know whether they're possibly not, uh, "clean" enough for your generator, but you can decide that for yourself. some of them sound like sad throwbacks to the dark ages for western women, so they're totally cracktastically unfunny, but you just asked for crack, not for funny. *wry grin*.

- self-lubricating butts (this is not rare, it's the norm)
- talking penes (fortunately this isn't the norm, this is just yamato nase crack)
--- they're not just talking, they are swapped due to a somewhat supernatural accident. and of course they are swapped between two boys who don't like each other.
--- one of the penes wears glasses and gets really upset when they get lost during a bout of mutual masturbation.
- "i like you! i've always liked you!" immediately followed by buttsex. dinner and a movie? we have no time to waste!
- soap makes great lube (in case your uke is one of the few without a self-lubricating anus)
- sex heals all -- whether you have a fever, open wounds, broken bones, or even a lopped-off arm, there is nothing preventing a passionate session in the infirmary. or on the battlefield. anywhere, really.
- you will fall in love with your rapist. maybe even right during the raping. (*gah*. my feminist credentials will be taken away for reading this.)
- if you are a cute li'l uke, random would-be violators are everywhere; life is just not safe without a strong, manly, and vigilant seme to rescue you. of course you won't _listen_ to him when he warns you.
- if somebody who's not yet your designated seme has saved you from a random would-be violator, he will likely demand sex from you in exchange.
- if you're in denial, forced sex will make you want to admit your feelings.
- if you have a twin, or a brother who's adopted, or from whom you've been separated for years, or who's your new step-brother, you will have sex in no time at all.
- swallowing demon semen will result in super-human strength for a human.
- if he is an asshole, he just doesn't know how to express his deep feelings of love for you.
- there are no straight men, only gay men who've not found the right man yet.
- even while protesting vigorously that you are not gay, you are madly in love with one man.
- if he says he's not gay, dressing (him or yourself) up in a maid uniform or some other female cosplay gear will naturally make him want to have sex with you.
- if you masturbate while fantasizing about your secret crush, he will secretly observe you and fall in love with you.
- naked but for frilly apron sex (*shudder*).
- mpreg (male pregnancy) (*triple shudder*).