Cool bits, cracktastic bits

[rachelmanija]

telophase has created a Cool Bits story generator.

The narrative is about triumph beating the odds. Romance blossoms between a scholar and a woman with a gun, while difficulties they encounter include sex against a wall and nothing being as it seems.

oyceter said that someone should make a Cracktastic Bit generator. I here solicit suggestions of cracktastic bits. They can be from any genre or media, though I do think that manga and anime gives great cracktastic.

By "cracktastic," I mean giant talking soldier ducks, giant robot chickens, heads in jars, heads in jars because the villain cut them off and put them there and hopes to clone the body and revive it so he can kill the person again, random incest, exploding heads, cannibal zombie angels, giant floating eyeballs, diseases that make your head spontaneously fall off, attacking floating fetuses, boys dressed in girls' sailor suit uniforms, "I cross-dress because it's so relaxing!" transformations into pandas, adorable chibi side illustrations of eyeballs on a platter, characters wearing kimono in Victorian London, little boys with bags over their heads and an axe in their hand, librarian chickens in tennis shoes and bonnets, possessed cockatiels, conjoined twin villains, combat butlers, butlers named Rifael Rafael, prosthetic limbs that double as any kind of weapon but especially guns or rocket-launchers, tentacle rape, characters with missing eyes (it's a thing), "Whatever you brought home, make sure you share it with your brothers! Oh... it's a wife?"

You know. Stuff like that.

What are your favorite cracktastic bits?

Comments

Hi, Laura Kinsale!

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

"Of course I'm still living in the house full of active booby-traps set up by my evil father who hated me! Here, have a penguin."

"Welcome to my tower full of orphan kiddies I'm training to be ninja assassins. They call me Il Corvo, or sometimes Lucifer. Why yes, I always wear robes embroidered with Kabalistic symbols."

"They call me 'Man-Shark.'"

Re: Hi, Laura Kinsale!

[oracne.livejournal.com]

"They call me 'Man-Shark.'"

Wanna see my...ninja sword?

Re: Hi, Laura Kinsale!

[sleary.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

*hides Kinsale paperbacks*

[anachred.livejournal.com]

No, no, no.
..living in a house full of active booby-traps because my family's theiving pastime is not sticking hard enough. Also, winterscapes. Sometimes they take me into Neverlands where it's always winter and never feathers.
[DNAngel, first handful of volumes]

I thought I had nothing to add to this conversation, but I have read a few manga...