Cool bits, cracktastic bits

[rachelmanija]

telophase has created a Cool Bits story generator.

The narrative is about triumph beating the odds. Romance blossoms between a scholar and a woman with a gun, while difficulties they encounter include sex against a wall and nothing being as it seems.

oyceter said that someone should make a Cracktastic Bit generator. I here solicit suggestions of cracktastic bits. They can be from any genre or media, though I do think that manga and anime gives great cracktastic.

By "cracktastic," I mean giant talking soldier ducks, giant robot chickens, heads in jars, heads in jars because the villain cut them off and put them there and hopes to clone the body and revive it so he can kill the person again, random incest, exploding heads, cannibal zombie angels, giant floating eyeballs, diseases that make your head spontaneously fall off, attacking floating fetuses, boys dressed in girls' sailor suit uniforms, "I cross-dress because it's so relaxing!" transformations into pandas, adorable chibi side illustrations of eyeballs on a platter, characters wearing kimono in Victorian London, little boys with bags over their heads and an axe in their hand, librarian chickens in tennis shoes and bonnets, possessed cockatiels, conjoined twin villains, combat butlers, butlers named Rifael Rafael, prosthetic limbs that double as any kind of weapon but especially guns or rocket-launchers, tentacle rape, characters with missing eyes (it's a thing), "Whatever you brought home, make sure you share it with your brothers! Oh... it's a wife?"

You know. Stuff like that.

What are your favorite cracktastic bits?

Comments

[snarp]

- Satan is God's alternate personality, and they need to integrate to solve their personal problems.

- Satan is regular old person's alternate personality. This will surely cause him some problems!

- Satan's deranged bride from a past life is regular old female person's alternate personality, so he's going to be lounging shirtless around her high school casually killing people from now on, if that's cool, and everything.

- Regular old male person's dead angry sister is his alternate personality, so now he must cross-dress for vengeance.

- Girl tries to sell soul to Satan, he shows up at her high school and sexually harasses her boyfriend.

- Joan of Arc is reincarnated as a Japanese school girl master thief who steals for God.

- Nun-in-training with mysterious underworld connections who somehow is allowed to take confession and uses the information acquired so to fight crime.

- Everyone's head turns into a dog's.

[larryhammer]

The belief that a nun (or a novice) is essentialy a miko produces some very odd results.

---L.