Cool bits, cracktastic bits

[rachelmanija]

telophase has created a Cool Bits story generator.

The narrative is about triumph beating the odds. Romance blossoms between a scholar and a woman with a gun, while difficulties they encounter include sex against a wall and nothing being as it seems.

oyceter said that someone should make a Cracktastic Bit generator. I here solicit suggestions of cracktastic bits. They can be from any genre or media, though I do think that manga and anime gives great cracktastic.

By "cracktastic," I mean giant talking soldier ducks, giant robot chickens, heads in jars, heads in jars because the villain cut them off and put them there and hopes to clone the body and revive it so he can kill the person again, random incest, exploding heads, cannibal zombie angels, giant floating eyeballs, diseases that make your head spontaneously fall off, attacking floating fetuses, boys dressed in girls' sailor suit uniforms, "I cross-dress because it's so relaxing!" transformations into pandas, adorable chibi side illustrations of eyeballs on a platter, characters wearing kimono in Victorian London, little boys with bags over their heads and an axe in their hand, librarian chickens in tennis shoes and bonnets, possessed cockatiels, conjoined twin villains, combat butlers, butlers named Rifael Rafael, prosthetic limbs that double as any kind of weapon but especially guns or rocket-launchers, tentacle rape, characters with missing eyes (it's a thing), "Whatever you brought home, make sure you share it with your brothers! Oh... it's a wife?"

You know. Stuff like that.

What are your favorite cracktastic bits?

Comments

[szzzt.livejournal.com]

*villains who are made of poison, and whose words are poison, and cause people to rot from the inside out
*villains with extra arms who can detach and implant them to control people, or form a new (self-aware) character from one of them
*prehensile hair (which strangles people)
*hair which suddenly grows 8-10 feet when a character is weakened (and then drains others' life force)
*characters who sprout plants from the wound when they are cut
*lonely cockroaches looking for friendship, mysteriously transformed into young men with long, very matted hair
*nonsentient objects (i.e. combs) holding grievances which cause them to become ghosts and demons
*inappropriate or enthusiastically overused religious symbolism (i.e., a Catholic priest from Texas imprisoning souls in a Star of David)
*youkai markings
*babies growing on trees after the hopeful parents tie a ribbon around the branch