The Quantum Love Gene, by Rev. Raymond J Pilon, BGS, ret. CSL

[rachelmanija]

A gift from nenya_kanadka via my request for weird books. I believe she got it for a quarter at a nun shop. Thanks! I think.

As you can tell from the cover, the disclaimer stating that This book is a Fantasy Sci-Fi, and the author’s alphabet soup credentials, this book was self-published; in this case, in print before ebook self-pub became a thing. You’ve seen books like this. They have dolphins and hot pink double helixes on the cover.



And now, I have read – well, skimmed - one so you don’t have to!

It begins, as they often do, with an explanation of how it all was dictated to the author in a series of dreams by Angelica, a being from the Pleiades, how lots of famous (not really) people agree that this is the truth, and how scientific discoveries/history/the pyramids prove it!!!!

This introduction is notable for the author explaining that he ate six mini-bananas while writing down the first dream; he will return to this later. Rather endearingly, each chapter is punctuated with his reactions to the dreams with comments like “Wow! This is so exciting! I can’t wait to find out more!”

The story (such as it is) begins with David, a prodigy who is telekinetic, telepathic, graduates from Harvard with three PhDs at the age of 16, and invents a universal translator and antigravity, and solves the energy crisis by age 18. This does not play into the plot (such as it is) as much as one might imagine.

The story is interrupted by a pair of full-page black and white diagrams of the Pleiades which prove that this is all totally real.

Special Agent Stafford said to Dr. Reinhardt, a psychiatrist, “I’m with NSA. Mr David Chartrand is a National Security risk. It will be necessary to sedate him heavily and strap him down before you do your doctor thing.

However, the psychiatrist is unable to do his doctor thing because Angelica teleports David to the top of the huge sports dome in Vancouver, Canada with five beautiful female Spiritual Beings from the Star system they call Pleiades!

(Why is it always the Pleiades in these books and manifestos?)

A long stretch of exposition ensues. The Pleiades built Stonehenge and the pyramids, David has the Quantum Love Gene which can turn bad guys into good guys, the Illuminati are after him, etc. Most of the book consists of reiterating and elaborating on this sort of thing.

At the end of this chapter, the author notes, I’m out of bananas this morning. Oh well, at least I have coffee.

We are introduced to Energy King Lucifer from the Planet Diable. There is a big and incoherent battle, which David and the other good guys win. The world has been saved! Everything is perfect! But the book is not quite over:



Angelica turned around to spring this incredible surprise on David. She had a twinkle in her eyes as she said to David, “You see, now that everything is said and done regarding the meeting, David, I have a surprise for you.”

David replied, “Good! I like surprises!”

With this, Angelica uttered the word, “Energize!”

The room began to glow with a bright white light. They heard the song of We are Spirit Light Beings.

We are Spirit Light Beings.
Having a wonderful human experience.

We are Spirit Light Beings.
Here for a moment in time and space.

We are Spirit Light Beings.
Learning to love again.

We are Spirit Light Beings.
Walking each other home.
We are Spirit Light Beings.


In case you were thinking, “But what about the dolphins? The cover promised dolphins!” a pool with two dolphins in it materializes in David’s living room.

As the Rev. Raymond J Pilon, BGS, ret. CSL writes,

THE END

Comments

[taelle]

https://www.scribd.com/author/246515949/Raymond-J-Pilon - here's the author bio, and he's just like you would expect.

[rachelmanija]

Raymond launched two Religious Science Churches, one in Vancouver, Canada, and another called “God is One ”, in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

Of course it's called God is One.

Also, his wife really is named Blenda, not Brenda. I had thought that was a typo.

[ethelmay]

I like the bit about "Mars [&]amp[;] Venus workshops" displaying wrong.

[sovay]

I’m out of bananas this morning.

This book sounds plenty full of bananas to me.

("Energy King Lucifer" belongs in a much better anime.)

[rachelmanija]

I forgot to include the cover! Feast your eyes!

[sovay]

Feast your eyes!

"Bronze Swimming Certificate, Silver Swimming Certificate . . ."

[jenett]

I am currently writing a book that riffs on some of the Pleiades mythology, and yes, there is so much totally whacky stuff out there.

(I am doing my best not to be doing that, and to be doing something different.)

Thank you for a lovely recap.

[lydamorehouse]

I... wow.

Well, at least I have coffee!

[rachelmanija]

I forgot to include the cover! Feast your eyes!

[minoanmiss]

I want to be entertained by this, but regretfully, my reaction is partial annoyance because... I saw so many female authors savaged in fanfic circles for creating "Mary Sues" that are exponentially less out there than our featured author's featured character.... but people never mind such characters when men write them*. I want to go back to some flamewars I've been in with this book in hand.

*:OK, people did mind Wesley Crusher, created by E. Wesley Roddenberry.

[nenya_kanadka]

I suspect part of my reason for sending this to Rachel was a subconscious desire to do penance for having piled on Mary Sues back in the day!

[minoanmiss]

I think for actual penance you have to read at least part of it too. ;)

[nenya_kanadka]

Oh, I did, which is how I know it's based on REAL SCIENCE, u guise, Real Genuine Science!

...possibly according to Angelica the Pleiadian, tho.

[mildred_of_midgard]

Okay, none of the books I sent you are anywhere NEAR as bonkers as this. Just to set expectations correctly. :P

Wow. I'm enjoying these reviews!

[nenya_kanadka]

*fistpump*

SUCCESS

I mean, I was flipping through the bargain books bin at the thrift shop and going "well some of these are pulpy but nothing really sticks out" and then I struck gold. 🤣🤣🤣

[mildred_of_midgard]

Well done, you! See, I was just going by books I'd actually read myself and even kind of liked, which rules out anything this...bananas.

[isis]

I am thankful to live in a universe where this exists (and you review it). Also, the author seems plenty bananas.

[rachelmanija]

I forgot to include the cover! Feast your eyes!

[jenett]

I feel like this cover both fails to signify the content of the book and completely signifies the content of the book, at the same time. Which is rather an achievement.

[nenya_kanadka]

YES!

[muccamukk]

I think Nenya paid four bits for it, plus shipping. Worth every penny.

[helen_keeble]

I believe you have discovered Chuck Tingle’s batshit religious uncle.

[nenya_kanadka]

Ooh. 🤣 I think this is why I love Dr Tingle so much--all the batshit but with a solid foundation of "love is real for all" that makes the weirdness charming and entertaining and less "I'm bracing myself for a hidden gopher hole of disturbing bigotry any second now" which is how I feel with a lot of this sort of crackpottery.

The multiple levels of reality and the reverse twins and so on vs spirit beings from the stars with "quantum genes"...

I need a banana.

[grayswandir]

:o

This is truly beyond amazing. I think it's going to be hard to beat this one.

[stranger]

This reads remarkably like Sailor Moon fanfic, and not nearly enough like Douglas Adams.

[oracne]

...I was waiting for dolphin erotica to happen, but it didn't.

[dantesspirit]

You know, there are bad books and then there are books so bad, that you simply *must* hunt them down and read them.

This is one such book.

I will have to find myself a copy.

[nenya_kanadka]

In the first comment to this entry there's a link to the author and book, and I think you can buy it there!

(I know exactly what you mean--I almost wish I'd kept this one, although I think Rachel is getting far more use out of it than I would have. 😆)

[dantesspirit]

I loked at the link and was so marveled by the absurd bio, I didn't pay attention to whether it could be purchased or not. }:P

[brownbetty]

the top of the huge sports dome in Vancouver, Canada

???

Why is this the part I'm getting hung up???

Perhaps it's the weird specificity, but, like, Stonehenge, you expect, it's a whack-attractor, but sports... domes...? Vancouver?