Magic's Pawn by Mercedes Lackey in fifteen minutes

[rachelmanija]

Before I begin ragging on this book, I should note that although I cannot call it good, it's pretty entertaining. I would not hesitate to recommend it for salon reading, as long as you can either call up your inner twelve-year-old at will or else enjoy a good inner snark-fest.

Also, it is very heartfelt-- very, very, very heartfelt-- and was apparently written at a time when very few gay characters ever appeared in fantasy, let alone lengthy pleas for gay rights, so I give Lackey major points for that. Even though, out of all the gay men I've ever met, and given my history with theatre, the entertainment industry, gay rights, and AIDS education, I've met quite a few, I have never met anyone who resembled any of Lackey's gay men.

I now present Vanyel in fifteen minutes!

Vanyel: I am a sensitive, gorgeous, and musical young man. Why is everyone so mean to me? Woe! Did I mention that I have fabulous dress sense and exquisite silver eyes?

(Vanyel’s father sneers)

(Vanyel’s brother jeers)

(Vanyel’s evil martial arts instructor breaks Vanyel’s arm)

Vanyel’s father: I’m sending you off to your butch aunt’s school. Maybe she’ll make a man of you. If that’s even possible.

Vanyel: I think I’ll wear my taupe breeches with my eggshell shirt. Oops, almost forgot: woe!

Tylenol Tylendel: Hi, I’m a gorgeous young student of your butch aunt’s and I am incredibly gifted at magic and I have a telepathic horsie. Also, I’m gay. Are you gay too?

Vanyel: Dude, I think I am!

Tylenol Tylendel: Excellent! Let’s be gay together!

Everyone at Vanyel’s butch aunt’s school: Vanyel is sensitive, gorgeous, delicate, musical, misunderstood, and a fashion plate. He owns the complete catalogue of Judy Garland on remastered CD. I am totally shocked that he’s gay, even though every other gay character in this book also fits that description! However, there is nothing wrong with being gay! Have fun, boys!



Tylenol Tylendel: My twin brother whom I have a telepathic bond with and whom I once telepathically eavesdropped on while he was having sex which awakened my magic powers—not to imply telepathic twincest— not that there’s anything wrong with that— was murdered! Woe! Vanyel, mind if I leech off of your un-awakened magic to supplement my own to get revenge?

Vanyel: That wouldn’t awaken my magic, would it? Cause for some reason I don’t want that to happen.

Tylenol Tylendel: Not a chance!

Vanyel: OK!

(Tylenol Tylendel leeches off Vanyel’s magic)

(Evil guy fights back)

(Telepathic horsie dies)

(Tylenol Tylendel dies)

(Vanyel’s magic awakens so he is now more powerful than anyone in the world; he attempts suicide; he keels over from woe, and also magical overload)

(Telepathic horsie # 2 bonds with Vanyel)

Vanyel: Go away. I’m busy dying here.

Vanyel’s butch aunt: Even our best aromatherapy has failed. Better send him to my friends, the super-sensitive soul-bonded gay mages, Moondance and Starwind.

(Rachel is not making this up)

Moondance and Starwind: Hello! We are gorgeous, sensitive gay mages. And we are here to tell you that it is OK to be gay. Even some animals are gay, so it is totally natural, healthy, and fun.

Vanyel: Go away. I will never love again.

Moondance: Vanyel, let me tell you my tragic backstory that I never tell anyone.

(Moondance weeps in a sensitive manner.)

Moondance: By the way, it’s only possible to have one great love in your life and yours is dead, so you are totally right that you will never love again. But don’t despair! You can still, you know, have pets and things.

Vanyel: Agony! Much more painful than yours!

Moondance: I think you kind of hurt my feelings.

(Moondance weeps in a sensitive manner.)

(Vanyel runs away; sees a dragon getting the drop on some people; angsts until the dragon bites the head off an old man; blows up the dragon.)

Vanyel: I now realize that with great power comes great responsibility. Also, I suck.

(Random evil mage suddenly appears and molests Vanyel)

(Vanyel blows up random evil mage)

Moondance et all: Congratulations! You’re a Herald!

Vanyel: On to the next book—of WOE!

Comments

[tatterpunk.livejournal.com]

Heeeee! So awesome.

I do remember reading these when I was twelve and being very impressed. Not so much by the story, but by A) the gay and B) the tragic WOE lack of happy ending. I said to my self, "Wow, this author really takes risks!"

...

But I wasn't interested in risks, so I re-read The Gammage Cup.

OH MY GOD

[(Anonymous)]

This is perhaps the most perfect of perfect summaries for this book. I nearly died when moondance says vanyel kind of hurt his feelings. I have to admit, though, that while everyone is saying how much they liked the books when they were twelve, I... I thought they were deep and amazing until I was at least 16.

Re: OH MY GOD

[telophase.livejournal.com]

They weren't published until I was in college or so, and I read them then, and enjoyed them although I didn't think they were great literature. But I am always susceptible to the raw power of adolescent angst that drives this trilogy and the Arrows of the Queen trilogy. :D

bwahaha

[expansive.livejournal.com]

I <3'd ML books when I was about 13-14. I have nearly all of them stored at my mum's house in DC.


... and I can tell you they make PERFECT post-first-semester-of-law-school-ouchie-my-head-hurts holiday reading.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Now I sort of want to read it.

[lenora-rose.livejournal.com]

You missed the whole angsting about being eldest son and inheritibng - but really RILLY wanting to be a Bard:

Vanyel's dad: One day, all this will be yours.

Vanyel: But I just want to sing!

[free-the-goats.livejournal.com]

I do love this series, but sometimes the prose does get me down a little. And I have ALWAYS loved the whole thing where Moondance is like, "Yeah, so, being gay is hard, but now I'm eternally happy and YOU NEVER WILL BE. Feel better or I'll make you FEEL GUILTY."

[princesselwen.livejournal.com]

Is it just me, or do Moondance and Starwind sound like the names of My Little Ponies?

[naomikritzer]

OH MY GOD

YOU WIN.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

My favorite part was the totally serious aromatherapy.

[naomikritzer]

I do not even vaguely remember the aromatherapy. In fact, I had forgotten Moondance and Starwind though I did remember the WOE.

[lydamorehouse]

My friend Naomi Kritzer pointed me to this, and I have to say it's absolutely hilarious and dead on. Especially about the woe. So much woe.

So much woe that even I, who read them WAY BACK WHEN--when, yes, there really were almost no gay characters in books* moreover AIDs hadn't really yet brought anyone out of the closet AT ALL, so I actually had only quietly queer folk singers and one college professor as roll models--was like alack, alas, too much WOE.

I was also far more grossed out by the evil guy also being gay and then molesting/raping Vanyel, because, despite the stereotypes (which was new to me, believe it or not, but did I not mention I grew up in the 1970s? and was reading these probably in 1987 or so?) I'd latched on HARD (while kind of hating myself, you know?)

And you probably have no idea how many people pushed these books at me. Maybe you do, but it went like this: You're gay? You should read the Vanyel books! You should read Anne Rice! OMG, PEOPLE, I AM A LESBIAN. But, there were even fewer lesbians in fiction it seemed...

So, yeah, totally. I had the same exact reaction, only more conflicted because it did seem* like we had so few other choices.

--

*Actually there were a lot. Not a lot of popular books had queer characters, but they were already out there. In high school, I read Elisabeth A. Lynn's books and loved them. Also, to the credit of SF, the first short story I found with a gay hero "A World Well Lost" by Theodore Sturgeon was published in... wait for it... 1953. That's right 1953.