Spock, Messiah! by Theodore R. Cogswell, Jr. and Charles A. Spano

[rachelmanija]

I did not receive any of the Harlequin titles, which I note all actually exist. Nor did I receive The Very Virile Viking or The Vampire Queen’s Servant, which also exist. I already own Clan of Death: Ninja, and have it reviewed somewhere under the tag genre: ninja.

Sadly, I am unaware of the existence of Knives Chau plushies. Cthulu plushies exist, and I waaaant one.

In-To-Me-See does not exist. Thank God. It was a fictional book on Sex and the City.

Nobody has ever sent me a head or a fetus (yet), though oyceter emailed me an article about a found fetus in a jar.

tool_of_satan sent me Spock, Messiah! It is even worse than it sounds: sexist, Islamophobic, profoundly stupid, abominably written, boring when not offensive, and did I mention sexist? The original cover is hilarious, though, with a strangely-proportioned Spock looking paranoid, insane, and constipated.

The Federation has the bright and totally ethically unobjectionable idea of infiltrating an uncontacted planet by hooking up the landing party’s brains to the brains of unknowing locals (via a long-distance telepathic thingummy), so that the landing party will react in-character as their local telepathic doppelgangers. THAT couldn’t possibly go wrong!

A repressed female ensign deliberately takes a nymphomaniac persona to see what it’s like, but her repressed crush on Spock manifests and so she hooks him up to a mentally deficient and insane local religious fanatic with a high sex drive so he’ll want to fuck her.

The possessed ensign “ruts like a bitch in heat” with Spock. Spock goes insane and takes over everything. This would be much more fun if we cold see Leonard Nimoy playing a different character, but since we can’t, it’s pretty dull. There’s more rutting and attempted rutting, and it’s STILL dull.

I did not expect this book to be as bad as its title indicates. Amazingly, it is.

Thanks Dan!

View on Amazon (with less hilarious cover): SPOCK, MESSIAH! (Star Trek)

Comments

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Woo-hoo, I got it right in the poll!

I note that I was the top pick in the Sender category. Perhaps I should find something worse for you...

[vom-marlowe.livejournal.com]

Hey, you like academies for kids with special powers, right? Have you read the PC Cast and Kristen Cast House of Night series? It's a vampire finishing school.

[tool-of-satan.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!

This is apparently even worse than I remembered (which, since I read it probably 28 years ago, is not too surprising).

I would suggest a poll for the absolute worst Star Trek book ever, but I do not remember things like the Marshak/Culbreath books well enough to vote on which is worst, and there is no way I am reading them again (why I read more than one of them in the first place, I cannot now say).

[tool-of-satan.livejournal.com]

Here is the cover Rachel mentions, in case anyone wants to see it.

While I am at it, I have to share this cover for The Entropy Effect, which I found while looking for the first cover. What the hell?

[matt_doyle]

Oh God, I've read that.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

I love reading your reviews of stuff that I didn't think I would ever WANT to read until I saw your review.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

God, I have that book and I still remember staring at it after reading wondering what on earth I'd just read.

Though considering I was parallel reading Price of the Phoenix and that one about the orgasm machine (it was a very Trek summer)...I don't know where I was going with this statement. Except suddenly now I really do want Spock: Starts Major Religion! Sort of.

[yahtzee63.livejournal.com]

I just reread Spock, Messiah! too. I couldn't believe it was actually worse than I remembered.

[dramaturgca.livejournal.com]

I haven't read Spock, Messiah! in at least 10 years. Most of what I really remember is the sequence in the psycholoony's camp with the masks and the belly dancing... I remember being intrigued by the idea of a jewel in one's navel. I also remember thinking that it was ridiculously OOC and not really believing it was part of the same series as the rest of the Trek novels.