Spock, Messiah! by Theodore R. Cogswell, Jr. and Charles A. Spano

[rachelmanija]

I did not receive any of the Harlequin titles, which I note all actually exist. Nor did I receive The Very Virile Viking or The Vampire Queen’s Servant, which also exist. I already own Clan of Death: Ninja, and have it reviewed somewhere under the tag genre: ninja.

Sadly, I am unaware of the existence of Knives Chau plushies. Cthulu plushies exist, and I waaaant one.

In-To-Me-See does not exist. Thank God. It was a fictional book on Sex and the City.

Nobody has ever sent me a head or a fetus (yet), though oyceter emailed me an article about a found fetus in a jar.

tool_of_satan sent me Spock, Messiah! It is even worse than it sounds: sexist, Islamophobic, profoundly stupid, abominably written, boring when not offensive, and did I mention sexist? The original cover is hilarious, though, with a strangely-proportioned Spock looking paranoid, insane, and constipated.

The Federation has the bright and totally ethically unobjectionable idea of infiltrating an uncontacted planet by hooking up the landing party’s brains to the brains of unknowing locals (via a long-distance telepathic thingummy), so that the landing party will react in-character as their local telepathic doppelgangers. THAT couldn’t possibly go wrong!

A repressed female ensign deliberately takes a nymphomaniac persona to see what it’s like, but her repressed crush on Spock manifests and so she hooks him up to a mentally deficient and insane local religious fanatic with a high sex drive so he’ll want to fuck her.

The possessed ensign “ruts like a bitch in heat” with Spock. Spock goes insane and takes over everything. This would be much more fun if we cold see Leonard Nimoy playing a different character, but since we can’t, it’s pretty dull. There’s more rutting and attempted rutting, and it’s STILL dull.

I did not expect this book to be as bad as its title indicates. Amazingly, it is.

Thanks Dan!

View on Amazon (with less hilarious cover): SPOCK, MESSIAH! (Star Trek)

Comments

[tool-of-satan.livejournal.com]

Doesn't sound familiar, but I stopped reading most of the Trek novels sometime in the late 80s. And there are plenty I have blocked out.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I'd associated the cover to Dwellers in the Crucible with it, but a quick perusal of what text is available via Google Books doesn't ring any bells.

I read a bunch of Trek novels during my only Trek phase, my sophomore year in college, so it wouldn't have been published any later than 1989/1990.

Darn, now it's going to bother me until I find myself in the used bookstore, furtively flipping through Trek novels in search of this one.

[tool-of-satan.livejournal.com]

Did you check Pawns and Symbols in Google Books? Based on my 15-second perusal it has Kang, a human woman, and bad writing.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I haven't been able to pull it up on Google Books, for some reason. Although a review on LibraryThing alludes to "adult" compromises made by the woman, so perhaps that's it.

[tool-of-satan.livejournal.com]

Here it is.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

Hm. Nothing there rings a bell. Arg, I'm going to have to track them down and read them to figure out which one, if any, it is!

[tool-of-satan.livejournal.com]

No no no. Track them down and then send them to Rachel.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I think this is a most excellent idea.

[lynndyre.livejournal.com]

Sorry for thread-jumping, I think it is Dwellers in the Crucible (which, for some reason, I also get mixed up with Pawns and Symbols- maybe it's the cover).

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Hm. The bits of Dwellers I can see on Google Books seems to have the Klingon there as a jail guard more than a hostage-taker, as I vaguely recall. I *think* in the book I'm remembering the human hostage ends up in bed with the Klingon, who i think is a captain or commander, which sounds more like the vague review of Pawns. Hm.

[nestra.livejournal.com]

In Dwellers, there's a human woman and a Vulcan woman taken hostage. The human woman sleeps with the Klingon commander in order to ensure better treatment for her and the Vulcan.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm just conflating them? Or remembering the fanfic I would have written had the internet existed in its present form at the time FOR WHICH WE SHOULD ALL BE THANKFUL THAT IT DIDN'T.

[tool-of-satan.livejournal.com]

There must have been fanfic on Usenet at the time. (I was on Usenet at the time but I did not read fanfic.) Someone more adventurous than I am could use Google Groups to search the ancient archives...

[telophase.livejournal.com]

There was plenty going round in zines at the time, too - I know, I got a couple. :D However, my natural laziness won out over any attempt to actually think about *writing* it. I shudder to think, though, what would have happened had I found something like fanfic.net.

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

I liked Pawns and Symbols more than Dwellers. Which means nothing, as I apparently had no taste, back then. But Dwellers was really annoying. (Though it did have slashy women.)

It could also be Killing Time, but that's way less likely.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I believe I ate these novels up like popcorn at the time, as I had no access to anything resembling fanfic at the time. XD