The package sent to Rachel Ninja Brown, from [livejournal.com profile] telophase, contained a romance in which the hero is secretly a unicorn. Thank you! Maybe.

The actual contents of the other packages were:

1. Elk, venison, and buffalo jerky, from [livejournal.com profile] telophase. OM NOM NOM.
2. A romance novel in which the hero is an angel and the heroine is a tentacled mermaid, from [livejournal.com profile] oyceter.
3. A VB Rose pencil case and a Temari figurine, from [livejournal.com profile] octopedingenue.
4. An anthology of Armenian authors and another about Desi New Yorkers, from [livejournal.com profile] madam_silvertip.

Thank you very much, O angels of the postal service!

Things which I did not get, but would be very pleased if someone were to send them:

1. Three Norse sagas.
2. Books on Indian regional cooking and everyday life in Heian Japan.
3. A plushie “more special” Sasuke, if such a thing exists. (Probably.)
4. Shuriken

Things which I hope I never receive:

1. A head.
2. The oracular penis novel (explained in the same link as the unicorn dude novel)
3. Venom cock.

Things which, as far as I know, do not exist (but which I’d love to get if they do):

1. A romance about banshees.
2. A romance in which the hero is secretly a book in the heroine’s library.
3. A romance in which the heroine is an angel and the hero is a mermaid with tentacles. (I already read the one in which the hero is a non-tentacled merman and the heroine is a psychic violinist.)

Things whose receipt would bring me a mix of delight and horror:

1. A romance about Vikings. Somehow I suspect the heroines would be nowhere near as wonderfully terrifying as they are in the sagas! Though it would totally make my day, or possibly make me vomit, if the euphemism for male equipment was “halberd.”

Things which I sent to someone else:

1. A Naruto tie-in ninja energy drink, to [livejournal.com profile] rushthatspeaks.

And now for the winner!

This was quite a difficult challenge. Only two contestants got more answers right than wrong (both by one.) The lucky winners, who may now prompt me to write them a piece of original or fanfic flash fiction, are [livejournal.com profile] tool_of_satan and [livejournal.com profile] suileach!
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