I recently obtained a set of random Biggles books via Etsy. There are others that look more objectively good, but I pounced on this one first as the back cover mentions that they are nearly eaten alive by ants. I immediately knew, via a misspent childhood in a country colonized by the British and so littered with elderly British pulp adventure novels, that this meant they would be
staked out to be eaten alive by ants, possibly stripped naked and smeared with honey.
This book is sufficiently racist that I can't recommend it unless you really like batshit 1930s pulp (I do) or are willing to plow through or skim a lot to get to the good Biggles-specific bits. If you don't fall into either category, enjoy the "good parts" version here.
It starts off with a bang with this frontispiece.
Click to see Ginger naked, yes really.Biggles, Algy, and Ginger are hired by Kadar, a young Egyptian man, to help him find a lost oasis of archaeological significance. Kadar is a fun, likable character and about 90% non-stereotypical. He's not the problem. The problem is everything else, all the way down to a footnote explaining that "native tribes" commonly drink petrol. Uhhh I guess it's historically interesting to learn about a completely new stereotype? Anyway, they fly out in search of the oasis and promptly get stranded in the desert and attacked by everything but the palm trees.
I hereby reproduce my liveblogging, which gives you the experience of reading the book:
- The first two chapters take place in 500 BC. (As atmospheric setup, as the backstory for a treasure hunt.)
- Ginger chases a butterfly.
- Biggles just punched a bat.
- An ordinary bat, but part of an attack flock. They ran into the bats while fleeing an army of scorpions. Somewhere in there Ginger got sneered at by a crocodile.
- We've also had some presumed dead. This is not one of the better Biggles books but you can't say it lacks for incident.
- Now cobras are falling from the ceiling.
- As predicted, they have been spread-eagled and staked for the ants. Honey is involved. 🍯 🐜 🐜 🐜
- Here's Biggles when they've been staked for ants:
"Don't worry, you fellows," he said quietly. "It will soon be over."No it won't, Biggles, the whole point of being eaten alive by ants is that it takes a long time!
- Biggles, Ginger, and Kadar are the ones staked for ants, while presuming Algy dead. Algy, who presumed them dead, comes to the rescue!
Algy reached Biggles first, and shuddered as he saw the broad, black line of ants hurrying towards him.
Biggles was far gone, but he managed to smile, and whisper, "Good boy." I'M SORRY THE SLASH WRITES ITSELF. Though regrettably, they were staked out fully clothed and the honey was only smeared on the ground around them, as a lure.
- There is also some high-quality Algy whump. He wanders the desert desperately searching for the others while it's literally burning the soles of his feet!
- Biggles is hilariously grumpy in this book. He's in a bad mood for basically the entire thing. (I mean, understandable given the cobras and ants and all.) Kadar is a civilian archaeology enthusiast tagging along, which is really fun as he keeps forgetting they're in extreme danger and wandering off to enthuse about archaeological finds, to which Biggles responds by reminding him that they'll probably all die.
- I just hit the moat full of snakes.
- Ginger is sleeping with his head on Biggles' leg while Biggles sits and smokes a cigarette.
- Also someone was sacrificed to a crocodile.
- (They have now been separated from Biggles).
The absence of his dominating personality and cheerful optimism made their own position seem so much worse.What cheerful optimism? Not in this book! Dominating personality... Well, there was that "Good boy."
- Guess who utters this immortal line? "Frizzle, you blighters, frizzle!"
- Okay, this book has possibly the single most spectacularly batshit climax of anything I have ever read.
I am going to excerpt parts of the climax below, but seriously, if there's any chance you'll actually read this book, it's so much more amazing if you encounter it yourself. Warning: involves cruelty to animals (IMO Biggles is a bit out of character at points in this book) but in a cartoony way.
( Read more... )I used Dragon Dictate to dictate that bit so I wouldn't have to write it out, and it was very difficult as I kept cracking up. Ever since I read it, at least once a day I have remembered it and laughed out loud. I am certain that Johns chortled to himself as he wrote it.
Content notes: About 30% racism by weight. Violence. Somewhat graphic deaths of attacking animals.
I quite like this cover, which would make a good icon.


This cover better conveys the tone of the book.

