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Atmosphere, plot, slashiness, comedy, and only a brief interlude of pedophilic skankiness-- this was my favorite chapter so far.
In which Genji meets his match and loses his pants
In which Genji meets his match and loses his pants
Atmosphere, plot, slashiness, comedy, and only a brief interlude of pedophilic skankiness-- this was my favorite chapter so far.
In which Genji meets his match and loses his pants
In the middle of October, everyone takes a trip to the Suzaku palace. Suzaku, I know from the manga/anime Fushigi Yuugi, is the Chinese God that rules the direction south. Or perhaps it refers to the Emperor Suzaku. Since my translation has no notes on anything but the poetry, I can't be sure.
Genji and To no Chujo do a public dance together, as part of the rehearsal. As G=P, everyone swoons all over the place, except for Lady Kokiden, the mother of the crown prince. She makes a remark that sounds just like what everyone else is saying, but must have come across as more obviously sarcastic in Japanese, because Some of the young women thought her rather horrid. Heh.
The emperor praises Genji to Fujitsubo, who is extremely uncomfortable because she's had an affair with Genji and thinks her fetus might be his. Genji and Fujitsubo exchange poems anyway. I wonder how frequent it was for people to read other people's poems, and thus find out that their significant other was heading for the cheatin' side of town. From the amount of poems exchanged, I would think it would happen all the time. Maybe in a later chapter.
Genji and To no Chujo dance again at the palace performance, and once more G=P. This is a lovely scene, and captures the poignance of watching a talented performer on stage, so filled with vitality that, paradoxically, they become a memento mori: one is reminded so strongly of life that the shadow of death hangs over them.
Fujitsubo goes back to her family to wait out the rest of her pregnancy. Genji goes trailing after her, which leads to this priceless passage:
Prince Hyobu, her brother and Murasaki's father, came in, having heard that Genji was on the premises. He was a man of great and gentle elegance, someone, thought Genji, who would interest him enormously were they of opposite sexes. Genji felt very near this prince so near the two ladies, and to the prince their conversation seemed friendly and somehow significant as earlier conversations had not. How very handsome Genji was! Not dreaming that it was a prospective son-in-law he was addressing, he too was thinking how susceptible (for he was a susceptible man) he would be to Genji's charms if they were not of the same sex.
Man, does Genji have incest issues. His mother, his step-mother who looks like his mother, his step-mother's niece who also looks like his mother, and now his step-mother's brother!
Meanwhile, rumors are circulating about Murasaki-- not her identity, but that Genji is harboring a small girl. The emperor warns him that if he's too much of a ho, his father-in-law the Minister will be outraged. Oops, better be more sneaky, thinks Genji. Meanwhile, Genji's wife is rightfully furious. Genji cluelessly doesn't understand her concern, and thinks that if she only understood that he wasn't planning to dump and leave her penniless, his wife would be A-OK with the whole thing. The passages about Genji's relationship with his wife have the train-wreck emotional horror one is more accustomed to finding in modern novels about divorce.
There's a creepy interlude with Murasaki, still playing with dolls. It sometimes puzzled her women that she should still be such a child. It did not occur to them that she was in fact not yet a wife. Huh, so I guess Genji's not molesting her yet. Um, that's good.
Fujitsubo gives birth late, to an incredibly beautiful baby boy who looks exactly like Genji, to the alarm of both Mom and Dad. Until the baby is given a name, I will note that G II=P. Luckily the emperor doesn't twig to this.
Then Genji hears about an old (almost sixty) court lady, Naishi, who still loves sex, and introduces himself to her. Genji, you horn dog! They have a fling, but Genji's embarassed to be seen as her boy toy, and declines further invitations. They have an awkward conversation, during which she holds a fan to her face that does not conceal her straggly gray hair.
In a corner [of the fan], in a hand that was old-fashioned but not displeasingly so, was a line of poetry: "Withered is the grass of Oaraki." Of all the poems she could have chosen!
"What you mean, I am sure, is that your grove is summer lodging for the cuckoo."
They talked for a time. Genji was nervous lest they be seen, but Naishi was unperturbed.
"Sere and withered though these grasses be,
They are ready for your pony, should you come."
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This entire next bit is so hilarious that it's hard not to quote the whole thing. The emperor catches Genji with Naishi. Genji is embarassed but Naishi is secretly pleased: There are those who do not dislike wrong rumors if they are about the right men.
And now with added slashiness, as To no Chujo once more decides to get close to Genji by having an affair with a woman Genji is having an affair with:
He had thought his own affairs varied, but the possibility of a liaison with an old woman had not occurred to him. An inexhaustibly amorous old woman might be rather fun. He arranged his own rendezvous.
He too was very handsome, and Naishi thought him not at all poor consolation for the loss of Genji. Yet (one finds it hard to condone such greed) Genji was the one she really wanted.
Naishi nags Genji until he gives in and goes to have sex with her. To no Chujo follows him. Genji hides in a closet behind a screen! To no Chujo draws his sword! Naishi hasn't had this much fun since she entertained the USC football team Suzaku Koto Orchestra superintendent of palace repairs! (I did not make the last one up.)
He [Genji] gave the arm wielding the sword a stout pinch and Tono Chujo finally surrendered to laughter.
"You are insane," said Genji. "And these jokes of yours are dangerous. Let me have my clothes, if you will."
But Tono Chujo refused to surrender them.
"Well, then, let's be undressed together." Genji undid his friend's belt and sought to pull off his clothes, and as they disputed the matter Genji burst a seam in an underrobe.
Get a room, you guys! Seriously, I am about to commit Genji/To no Chujo if there's any more of this.
Then there's more farce as Genji and To no Chujo's clothes get mixed up. I love me a good sex farce, and I lapped all this up. I imagine Heian ladies listening to this chapter being read and vibrating the curtains with their laughter.
The chapter concludes with the emperor plotting to make Genji II crown prince, the mother of the current crown prince blowing a gasket, and everyone but the emperor noticing that Genji II looks just like Genji! Stay tuned!
In which Genji meets his match and loses his pants
In the middle of October, everyone takes a trip to the Suzaku palace. Suzaku, I know from the manga/anime Fushigi Yuugi, is the Chinese God that rules the direction south. Or perhaps it refers to the Emperor Suzaku. Since my translation has no notes on anything but the poetry, I can't be sure.
Genji and To no Chujo do a public dance together, as part of the rehearsal. As G=P, everyone swoons all over the place, except for Lady Kokiden, the mother of the crown prince. She makes a remark that sounds just like what everyone else is saying, but must have come across as more obviously sarcastic in Japanese, because Some of the young women thought her rather horrid. Heh.
The emperor praises Genji to Fujitsubo, who is extremely uncomfortable because she's had an affair with Genji and thinks her fetus might be his. Genji and Fujitsubo exchange poems anyway. I wonder how frequent it was for people to read other people's poems, and thus find out that their significant other was heading for the cheatin' side of town. From the amount of poems exchanged, I would think it would happen all the time. Maybe in a later chapter.
Genji and To no Chujo dance again at the palace performance, and once more G=P. This is a lovely scene, and captures the poignance of watching a talented performer on stage, so filled with vitality that, paradoxically, they become a memento mori: one is reminded so strongly of life that the shadow of death hangs over them.
Fujitsubo goes back to her family to wait out the rest of her pregnancy. Genji goes trailing after her, which leads to this priceless passage:
Prince Hyobu, her brother and Murasaki's father, came in, having heard that Genji was on the premises. He was a man of great and gentle elegance, someone, thought Genji, who would interest him enormously were they of opposite sexes. Genji felt very near this prince so near the two ladies, and to the prince their conversation seemed friendly and somehow significant as earlier conversations had not. How very handsome Genji was! Not dreaming that it was a prospective son-in-law he was addressing, he too was thinking how susceptible (for he was a susceptible man) he would be to Genji's charms if they were not of the same sex.
Man, does Genji have incest issues. His mother, his step-mother who looks like his mother, his step-mother's niece who also looks like his mother, and now his step-mother's brother!
Meanwhile, rumors are circulating about Murasaki-- not her identity, but that Genji is harboring a small girl. The emperor warns him that if he's too much of a ho, his father-in-law the Minister will be outraged. Oops, better be more sneaky, thinks Genji. Meanwhile, Genji's wife is rightfully furious. Genji cluelessly doesn't understand her concern, and thinks that if she only understood that he wasn't planning to dump and leave her penniless, his wife would be A-OK with the whole thing. The passages about Genji's relationship with his wife have the train-wreck emotional horror one is more accustomed to finding in modern novels about divorce.
There's a creepy interlude with Murasaki, still playing with dolls. It sometimes puzzled her women that she should still be such a child. It did not occur to them that she was in fact not yet a wife. Huh, so I guess Genji's not molesting her yet. Um, that's good.
Fujitsubo gives birth late, to an incredibly beautiful baby boy who looks exactly like Genji, to the alarm of both Mom and Dad. Until the baby is given a name, I will note that G II=P. Luckily the emperor doesn't twig to this.
Then Genji hears about an old (almost sixty) court lady, Naishi, who still loves sex, and introduces himself to her. Genji, you horn dog! They have a fling, but Genji's embarassed to be seen as her boy toy, and declines further invitations. They have an awkward conversation, during which she holds a fan to her face that does not conceal her straggly gray hair.
In a corner [of the fan], in a hand that was old-fashioned but not displeasingly so, was a line of poetry: "Withered is the grass of Oaraki." Of all the poems she could have chosen!
"What you mean, I am sure, is that your grove is summer lodging for the cuckoo."
They talked for a time. Genji was nervous lest they be seen, but Naishi was unperturbed.
"Sere and withered though these grasses be,
They are ready for your pony, should you come."
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This entire next bit is so hilarious that it's hard not to quote the whole thing. The emperor catches Genji with Naishi. Genji is embarassed but Naishi is secretly pleased: There are those who do not dislike wrong rumors if they are about the right men.
And now with added slashiness, as To no Chujo once more decides to get close to Genji by having an affair with a woman Genji is having an affair with:
He had thought his own affairs varied, but the possibility of a liaison with an old woman had not occurred to him. An inexhaustibly amorous old woman might be rather fun. He arranged his own rendezvous.
He too was very handsome, and Naishi thought him not at all poor consolation for the loss of Genji. Yet (one finds it hard to condone such greed) Genji was the one she really wanted.
Naishi nags Genji until he gives in and goes to have sex with her. To no Chujo follows him. Genji hides in a closet behind a screen! To no Chujo draws his sword! Naishi hasn't had this much fun since she entertained the USC football team Suzaku Koto Orchestra superintendent of palace repairs! (I did not make the last one up.)
He [Genji] gave the arm wielding the sword a stout pinch and Tono Chujo finally surrendered to laughter.
"You are insane," said Genji. "And these jokes of yours are dangerous. Let me have my clothes, if you will."
But Tono Chujo refused to surrender them.
"Well, then, let's be undressed together." Genji undid his friend's belt and sought to pull off his clothes, and as they disputed the matter Genji burst a seam in an underrobe.
Get a room, you guys! Seriously, I am about to commit Genji/To no Chujo if there's any more of this.
Then there's more farce as Genji and To no Chujo's clothes get mixed up. I love me a good sex farce, and I lapped all this up. I imagine Heian ladies listening to this chapter being read and vibrating the curtains with their laughter.
The chapter concludes with the emperor plotting to make Genji II crown prince, the mother of the current crown prince blowing a gasket, and everyone but the emperor noticing that Genji II looks just like Genji! Stay tuned!
While writing the synopsis for a backstage drama I'm working on, I jotted down some quick notes on Theatrical Disasters I Have Known in case I want to use them in the series. I copy a few excerpts for your amusement (the stage manager is almost always myself; I wasn't terribly consist about referring to myself in first vs. third person):
By the way, if you comment with accounts of Theatrical Disasters You Have Known, please indicate if you don't mind me stealing them.
Damn Yankees:
An earthquake hits in the middle of the play.
A small black cat emerges from the stage right vom, runs across the stage during a solo song, exits out the stage left vom, and is never seen again.
Teen stage hand from hell repeatedly misses performances.
Actor throws baseball, other actor misses catch, ball breaks light.
Critic compares performance by actress playing sexy vamp Lola to Lucille Ball, and not in a good way.
Actress forgets to eat breakfast, keels over backstage.
Trap door opens early, actor falls through.
Trap crank spins out of control and breaks trap operator’s wrist.
Insane live-in landlord refuses to believe that stage manager’s participation in festival is why she comes home so late, and indeed believes that stage manager is not in the festival at all and the program was made by massive conspiracy. Stage manager is evicted.
When returning home late after rehearsal, stage manager trips over skunk.
The Taming of the Shrew
Actor sneaks up behind me as I sat reading backstage and sticks his tongue in my ear.
Same actor, who plays Sly (who is onstage the whole time, watching the play within the play) plays a prank during the performance at an old folks’ home in which he suddenly pretends that he’s been poisoned, spits up blood, and keels over in Act I scene I, and lies “dead” during the entire rest of the play. Stage manager is not amused.
Teen stage hand from hell misses performance, explains absence as follows: “Dude, last night I went to town… got stoned… had a totally bogus time… met this totally bogus girl… spent the night at her house… bogued out, dude, totally bogued out.”
The German Play (actual title forgotten)
Leading actress, who is famous for playing the world's best mother on an old TV show but who is actually evil, chases stage manager through halls screaming at her.
Other actress, who is a well-known acting coach, never really learns her lines and consistently jumps cues during run of show, which once leads to a ten-minute scene occurring twice.
Dinner consumed onstage consists of giant red jello mold of bull’s head. Once the prop person forgot to put in sugar, causing all actors to take one bite and spit it out, or else swallow, then gag. Later she put in too much gelatin, so rather than dissolving when chewed, it broke into smaller and smaller particles, like sand, so the actors chewed and chewed and then, desperate, spit it out.
Teen stage hand from hell refuses to move furniture the correct way, then slams it into set, knocking a piece off. Our subsequent quarrel is heard in the audience.
Box office oversells show, then, against my explicit orders, seats audience in folding chairs with a ten foot drop and no railing right behind them. When audience in danger seats refuse to leave, I have to seat them in the booth with me.
Sole actor whom stage manager does not hate by end of rehearsal process celebrates opening night by giving her a token of his affection. It is a Xeroxed sheet of racist jokes.
By the way, if you comment with accounts of Theatrical Disasters You Have Known, please indicate if you don't mind me stealing them.
Damn Yankees:
An earthquake hits in the middle of the play.
A small black cat emerges from the stage right vom, runs across the stage during a solo song, exits out the stage left vom, and is never seen again.
Teen stage hand from hell repeatedly misses performances.
Actor throws baseball, other actor misses catch, ball breaks light.
Critic compares performance by actress playing sexy vamp Lola to Lucille Ball, and not in a good way.
Actress forgets to eat breakfast, keels over backstage.
Trap door opens early, actor falls through.
Trap crank spins out of control and breaks trap operator’s wrist.
Insane live-in landlord refuses to believe that stage manager’s participation in festival is why she comes home so late, and indeed believes that stage manager is not in the festival at all and the program was made by massive conspiracy. Stage manager is evicted.
When returning home late after rehearsal, stage manager trips over skunk.
The Taming of the Shrew
Actor sneaks up behind me as I sat reading backstage and sticks his tongue in my ear.
Same actor, who plays Sly (who is onstage the whole time, watching the play within the play) plays a prank during the performance at an old folks’ home in which he suddenly pretends that he’s been poisoned, spits up blood, and keels over in Act I scene I, and lies “dead” during the entire rest of the play. Stage manager is not amused.
Teen stage hand from hell misses performance, explains absence as follows: “Dude, last night I went to town… got stoned… had a totally bogus time… met this totally bogus girl… spent the night at her house… bogued out, dude, totally bogued out.”
The German Play (actual title forgotten)
Leading actress, who is famous for playing the world's best mother on an old TV show but who is actually evil, chases stage manager through halls screaming at her.
Other actress, who is a well-known acting coach, never really learns her lines and consistently jumps cues during run of show, which once leads to a ten-minute scene occurring twice.
Dinner consumed onstage consists of giant red jello mold of bull’s head. Once the prop person forgot to put in sugar, causing all actors to take one bite and spit it out, or else swallow, then gag. Later she put in too much gelatin, so rather than dissolving when chewed, it broke into smaller and smaller particles, like sand, so the actors chewed and chewed and then, desperate, spit it out.
Teen stage hand from hell refuses to move furniture the correct way, then slams it into set, knocking a piece off. Our subsequent quarrel is heard in the audience.
Box office oversells show, then, against my explicit orders, seats audience in folding chairs with a ten foot drop and no railing right behind them. When audience in danger seats refuse to leave, I have to seat them in the booth with me.
Sole actor whom stage manager does not hate by end of rehearsal process celebrates opening night by giving her a token of his affection. It is a Xeroxed sheet of racist jokes.
While writing the synopsis for a backstage drama I'm working on, I jotted down some quick notes on Theatrical Disasters I Have Known in case I want to use them in the series. I copy a few excerpts for your amusement (the stage manager is almost always myself; I wasn't terribly consist about referring to myself in first vs. third person):
By the way, if you comment with accounts of Theatrical Disasters You Have Known, please indicate if you don't mind me stealing them.
Damn Yankees:
An earthquake hits in the middle of the play.
A small black cat emerges from the stage right vom, runs across the stage during a solo song, exits out the stage left vom, and is never seen again.
Teen stage hand from hell repeatedly misses performances.
Actor throws baseball, other actor misses catch, ball breaks light.
Critic compares performance by actress playing sexy vamp Lola to Lucille Ball, and not in a good way.
Actress forgets to eat breakfast, keels over backstage.
Trap door opens early, actor falls through.
Trap crank spins out of control and breaks trap operator’s wrist.
Insane live-in landlord refuses to believe that stage manager’s participation in festival is why she comes home so late, and indeed believes that stage manager is not in the festival at all and the program was made by massive conspiracy. Stage manager is evicted.
When returning home late after rehearsal, stage manager trips over skunk.
The Taming of the Shrew
Actor sneaks up behind me as I sat reading backstage and sticks his tongue in my ear.
Same actor, who plays Sly (who is onstage the whole time, watching the play within the play) plays a prank during the performance at an old folks’ home in which he suddenly pretends that he’s been poisoned, spits up blood, and keels over in Act I scene I, and lies “dead” during the entire rest of the play. Stage manager is not amused.
Teen stage hand from hell misses performance, explains absence as follows: “Dude, last night I went to town… got stoned… had a totally bogus time… met this totally bogus girl… spent the night at her house… bogued out, dude, totally bogued out.”
The German Play (actual title forgotten)
Leading actress, who is famous for playing the world's best mother on an old TV show but who is actually evil, chases stage manager through halls screaming at her.
Other actress, who is a well-known acting coach, never really learns her lines and consistently jumps cues during run of show, which once leads to a ten-minute scene occurring twice.
Dinner consumed onstage consists of giant red jello mold of bull’s head. Once the prop person forgot to put in sugar, causing all actors to take one bite and spit it out, or else swallow, then gag. Later she put in too much gelatin, so rather than dissolving when chewed, it broke into smaller and smaller particles, like sand, so the actors chewed and chewed and then, desperate, spit it out.
Teen stage hand from hell refuses to move furniture the correct way, then slams it into set, knocking a piece off. Our subsequent quarrel is heard in the audience.
Box office oversells show, then, against my explicit orders, seats audience in folding chairs with a ten foot drop and no railing right behind them. When audience in danger seats refuse to leave, I have to seat them in the booth with me.
Sole actor whom stage manager does not hate by end of rehearsal process celebrates opening night by giving her a token of his affection. It is a Xeroxed sheet of racist jokes.
By the way, if you comment with accounts of Theatrical Disasters You Have Known, please indicate if you don't mind me stealing them.
Damn Yankees:
An earthquake hits in the middle of the play.
A small black cat emerges from the stage right vom, runs across the stage during a solo song, exits out the stage left vom, and is never seen again.
Teen stage hand from hell repeatedly misses performances.
Actor throws baseball, other actor misses catch, ball breaks light.
Critic compares performance by actress playing sexy vamp Lola to Lucille Ball, and not in a good way.
Actress forgets to eat breakfast, keels over backstage.
Trap door opens early, actor falls through.
Trap crank spins out of control and breaks trap operator’s wrist.
Insane live-in landlord refuses to believe that stage manager’s participation in festival is why she comes home so late, and indeed believes that stage manager is not in the festival at all and the program was made by massive conspiracy. Stage manager is evicted.
When returning home late after rehearsal, stage manager trips over skunk.
The Taming of the Shrew
Actor sneaks up behind me as I sat reading backstage and sticks his tongue in my ear.
Same actor, who plays Sly (who is onstage the whole time, watching the play within the play) plays a prank during the performance at an old folks’ home in which he suddenly pretends that he’s been poisoned, spits up blood, and keels over in Act I scene I, and lies “dead” during the entire rest of the play. Stage manager is not amused.
Teen stage hand from hell misses performance, explains absence as follows: “Dude, last night I went to town… got stoned… had a totally bogus time… met this totally bogus girl… spent the night at her house… bogued out, dude, totally bogued out.”
The German Play (actual title forgotten)
Leading actress, who is famous for playing the world's best mother on an old TV show but who is actually evil, chases stage manager through halls screaming at her.
Other actress, who is a well-known acting coach, never really learns her lines and consistently jumps cues during run of show, which once leads to a ten-minute scene occurring twice.
Dinner consumed onstage consists of giant red jello mold of bull’s head. Once the prop person forgot to put in sugar, causing all actors to take one bite and spit it out, or else swallow, then gag. Later she put in too much gelatin, so rather than dissolving when chewed, it broke into smaller and smaller particles, like sand, so the actors chewed and chewed and then, desperate, spit it out.
Teen stage hand from hell refuses to move furniture the correct way, then slams it into set, knocking a piece off. Our subsequent quarrel is heard in the audience.
Box office oversells show, then, against my explicit orders, seats audience in folding chairs with a ten foot drop and no railing right behind them. When audience in danger seats refuse to leave, I have to seat them in the booth with me.
Sole actor whom stage manager does not hate by end of rehearsal process celebrates opening night by giving her a token of his affection. It is a Xeroxed sheet of racist jokes.
.