Houston, we have Oyce!

oyceter is here! We had to lurk near my house yesterday, because I was on call and, should I be summoned, would have to leave on a moment's notice. This led to me leaving her the following message before she arrived:

"If you get here and I'm not here, I've left the house keys under the pot with a dead plant. Under the dead plant. ... In the smallest pot with a dead plant."

Luckily I was not summoned. Either nothing bad happened in Culver City last night, or nobody needed counseling because there were no survivors.

We went to Fatburger, where I inhaled a burger with a fried egg (so delicious!) and extra-crispy fries in record time, with one eye on my phone.

Then we returned to my house and re-watched the episode of Project Runway in which Emilio is forced to construct an eye-bleedingly horrific bikini made of washers and pink twine. I don't know if my very favorite moment was Emilio counting the washers for the third time in the hope that they had spontaneously multiplied, or Anthony remarking, "I don't think it's in the best of taste... Being a lady will never go out of fashion."

The fact that the trainwreck occurred to the imperturbable Emilio, hitherto known for good and rather conservative taste, made this episode a Project Runway classic. If you recall my "anime personality" analysis of reality TV characters, Emilio is clearly a Shigure-esque mild-mannered secret mastermind... having a very, very bad day.

Today we may have to re-watch the "cat in a sling" episode. I suggested to Oyce that she learn to vid so she can vid PR's most "what were they thinking" moments, of which Amy's hair breast bowl and clown fish pants should figure prominently. Also Melvin's pregnant bird (Tim Gunn: "But Melvin, do women want to look like they have chicken thighs?") and Wendy Pepper's candy bikini (which Emilio's pink washer horror strongly resembled.)

Then we watched a hilarious Korean movie, My Girlfriend is a Secret Agent, in which a highly competent and hot-tempered female agent, first seen firing a gun from a speedboat while wearing full bridal regalia, is involved with a highly incompetent but very sweet man who is also a secret agent. Needless to say neither knows of the other's secret identity. The "bb-gun" and "lobster mallet" and "horse-riding" scenes were comic gold. The male lead reminded me of the young Steve Martin, back when he did more physical comedy.

And then, since my on-call time had elapsed, we rushed to Beard Papa for coffee cream puffs (Oyce) and chocolate molten cake (me). Across the street was a Korean taco truck! But not the famous Kogi, a rip-off different Korean taco truck. We ran to it just in time to obtain a kimchi quesadilla (Oyce) and Korean barbecue pork taco (me.) They were quite good, especially with the sweet-and-sour dipping sauce.

We returned to my apartment and watched American Idol, which except for Siobhan and the Melissa Etheredge-esque Crystal Bowersox, I am not impressed with.

Finally, I want to note that though my apartment has been spider-free since Oyce's last visit, a large shelob appeared on my bedroom wall and began to menacingly approach the bed. I attacked it with a telescoping thing (I just asked Oyce what she thought it was, and she didn't know. Some sort of scrubber on a pole), but it telescoped, propelling the spider, possibly still alive, to parts unknown. I hid under the covers, leaving Oyce to her fate.