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Shark-infested rice pudding didn't work. Eating Mrs. Jerome didn't work. Even stealing Mr. Snockadocka's beloved Grammar Charts didn't work. There was only one choice left. And that was war!
And what a war it was! The kids had Skinny Malinky, the worst kid of them all--but the teachers had Mr. Foreclosure. The kids had Big Alice, but the teachers had the Rococo Knight. The kids had Honor, Truth, Justice, and Freedom on their side. The teachers had...The Status Quo Solidifier!
The Staus Quo Solidifier, the insidious plan of scheming Mr. Foreclosure, would turn the kids into Perfect Young People before they knew it. But Skinny Malinky knew it, and he vowed revenge!
But first things first: It all started at a school called Scratchland, where there was a rule for every exception--and an exception to every rule!
Skinny Malinky, a non-conformist foster kid, is sent to a school for bad kids, where he leads them on a rebellion. The book is part absurdist comedy, and part satire on the bureaucracy and soul-crushing conformity and jargon of the American school system at the time of writing.
I rarely like satire and I almost never like absurdism, so I was not in the natural audience for this book. I'm not sure who is the natural audience for this book.
I bought it at a library sale because I remembered trying to read it as a kid and being utterly baffled, and wondered how it would come across if I read it as an adult. It looked completely bizarre. In fact, it is completely bizarre and I am now just as baffled. Who was this even aimed at? Was it written somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold?
"Okay, I got the answer," said Big Alice, who had stopped listening.
"Which is?" asked Curly, dodging a blow from Skinny.
"Shark-infested rice pudding."
Everyone shuddered with anticipation.
"I have a shark in my aquarium at home. Her name is Lulu. And she likes rice pudding."
Late that night, Big Alice and Skinny dragged the plastic wading pool with Lulu inside over a deep hole which Fritzie and the Mosquitoes had dug in front of the flagpole. Big Alice and Skinny tied a rope around Lulu and gently lowered her into a large bathtub full of rice pudding at the bottom of the hole.
I gave up after Big Alice ate a teacher and the new principal, Mr. Foreclosure, is revealed to be a talking, normal-sized red ant.
Further research disclosed that the author, Stanley Kiesel, was a teacher and wrote this book, a sequel that no one seems to have read, and a book of poetry called The Pearl is a Hardened Sinner: Notes From Kindergarten.
Julian Thompson (The Grounding of Group 6 and other weird books about literal teenage rebellions) also published in the 80s. Louis Sachar's bizarre and surreal Sideways Stories from Wayside School began in 1978. (I recall enjoying the latter, as one of my rare surrealism exceptions. There was something about ice cream I really liked. I see my food obsession began early.) Maybe there was something in the water.
And what a war it was! The kids had Skinny Malinky, the worst kid of them all--but the teachers had Mr. Foreclosure. The kids had Big Alice, but the teachers had the Rococo Knight. The kids had Honor, Truth, Justice, and Freedom on their side. The teachers had...The Status Quo Solidifier!
The Staus Quo Solidifier, the insidious plan of scheming Mr. Foreclosure, would turn the kids into Perfect Young People before they knew it. But Skinny Malinky knew it, and he vowed revenge!
But first things first: It all started at a school called Scratchland, where there was a rule for every exception--and an exception to every rule!
Skinny Malinky, a non-conformist foster kid, is sent to a school for bad kids, where he leads them on a rebellion. The book is part absurdist comedy, and part satire on the bureaucracy and soul-crushing conformity and jargon of the American school system at the time of writing.
I rarely like satire and I almost never like absurdism, so I was not in the natural audience for this book. I'm not sure who is the natural audience for this book.
I bought it at a library sale because I remembered trying to read it as a kid and being utterly baffled, and wondered how it would come across if I read it as an adult. It looked completely bizarre. In fact, it is completely bizarre and I am now just as baffled. Who was this even aimed at? Was it written somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold?
"Okay, I got the answer," said Big Alice, who had stopped listening.
"Which is?" asked Curly, dodging a blow from Skinny.
"Shark-infested rice pudding."
Everyone shuddered with anticipation.
"I have a shark in my aquarium at home. Her name is Lulu. And she likes rice pudding."
Late that night, Big Alice and Skinny dragged the plastic wading pool with Lulu inside over a deep hole which Fritzie and the Mosquitoes had dug in front of the flagpole. Big Alice and Skinny tied a rope around Lulu and gently lowered her into a large bathtub full of rice pudding at the bottom of the hole.
I gave up after Big Alice ate a teacher and the new principal, Mr. Foreclosure, is revealed to be a talking, normal-sized red ant.
Further research disclosed that the author, Stanley Kiesel, was a teacher and wrote this book, a sequel that no one seems to have read, and a book of poetry called The Pearl is a Hardened Sinner: Notes From Kindergarten.
Julian Thompson (The Grounding of Group 6 and other weird books about literal teenage rebellions) also published in the 80s. Louis Sachar's bizarre and surreal Sideways Stories from Wayside School began in 1978. (I recall enjoying the latter, as one of my rare surrealism exceptions. There was something about ice cream I really liked. I see my food obsession began early.) Maybe there was something in the water.
