Strangely, she chose groups to infiltrate as a man that she'd never actually experienced as a woman, either. The book opens with her working-class girlfriend's observation (as Norah goes off to join the men's bowling league) that "the difference between your people and my people is that my people bowl without irony." The barely-between-the-lines classism in that chapter is painful to read; Norah is at least somewhat aware of it, and is apologetic about the fact that she assumed that these working-class men would be closed minded, conservative, homophobic bigots. It's clear that it's not just masculinity that's foreign territory to her; so is anyone who isn't a New York City hipster.
I think it's also fairly clear that she sought out groups of people she expected to dislike, out of a sense that she wouldn't feel as bad about deceiving them -- and like Derfner, was taken by surprise at how likable some individuals were when she actually got to know them. In the chapters where she successfully finds mostly loathsome people (like the strip club chapter), it's clear that the dislike helps only somewhat.
Possibly the chapter where she felt the guiltiest for her deception was the one in which she infiltrated a monastery -- again, an environment she had never experienced as a woman, and knew pretty much nothing about. (She was raised Catholic, but had not been a practicing Catholic for years, and had never gone on a retreat at a convent or anything like that.) With the bowling league and the monastery, she confessed at least to her closest friends that she was female, before moving on. At the monastery, she was graciously and immediately forgiven by all three men she'd told, something she was profoundly grateful for -- but it was clear they genuinely felt betrayed, and used, even if they forgave her for it.
Possibly the chapter I found full-on creepiest was the dating chapter. She mostly went on one-off blind dates via Internet dating sites, and she resolved that if she hit it off with anyone enough that she saw them three times, she would tell them on the third date that she was really a girl. There was one woman, Sasha, who she describes as self-absorbed and kind of nutty, who wound up on a third date with Norah. Norah dropped hints over dinner, but waited until they were in the bedroom making out before the Big Reveal. Sasha went on to sleep with her anyway. This was a particularly interesting (and disturbing) chapter after reading Whipping Girl a few weeks ago. The author of Whipping Girl objects rather vehemently to the stereotypical image of the deceptive transsexual who lures in the innocent man only to be revealed as having a PENIS OMG as the clothes come off. This is an incredibly toxic stereotype, not least because of the transsexual people (most of them women) who are murdered every year, by people who claim, "he didn't tell me he was a guy and I just snapped when I found out." For Norah to deliberately enact this sort of scene really bothered me; there was no reason to let it get that far.
There was a lot that bothered me, honestly, and it clearly bothered her, as well, given how awful she felt when she was done. <<<
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Date: 2011-09-02 02:53 am (UTC)Strangely, she chose groups to infiltrate as a man that she'd never actually experienced as a woman, either. The book opens with her working-class girlfriend's observation (as Norah goes off to join the men's bowling league) that "the difference between your people and my people is that my people bowl without irony." The barely-between-the-lines classism in that chapter is painful to read; Norah is at least somewhat aware of it, and is apologetic about the fact that she assumed that these working-class men would be closed minded, conservative, homophobic bigots. It's clear that it's not just masculinity that's foreign territory to her; so is anyone who isn't a New York City hipster.
I think it's also fairly clear that she sought out groups of people she expected to dislike, out of a sense that she wouldn't feel as bad about deceiving them -- and like Derfner, was taken by surprise at how likable some individuals were when she actually got to know them. In the chapters where she successfully finds mostly loathsome people (like the strip club chapter), it's clear that the dislike helps only somewhat.
Possibly the chapter where she felt the guiltiest for her deception was the one in which she infiltrated a monastery -- again, an environment she had never experienced as a woman, and knew pretty much nothing about. (She was raised Catholic, but had not been a practicing Catholic for years, and had never gone on a retreat at a convent or anything like that.) With the bowling league and the monastery, she confessed at least to her closest friends that she was female, before moving on. At the monastery, she was graciously and immediately forgiven by all three men she'd told, something she was profoundly grateful for -- but it was clear they genuinely felt betrayed, and used, even if they forgave her for it.
Possibly the chapter I found full-on creepiest was the dating chapter. She mostly went on one-off blind dates via Internet dating sites, and she resolved that if she hit it off with anyone enough that she saw them three times, she would tell them on the third date that she was really a girl. There was one woman, Sasha, who she describes as self-absorbed and kind of nutty, who wound up on a third date with Norah. Norah dropped hints over dinner, but waited until they were in the bedroom making out before the Big Reveal. Sasha went on to sleep with her anyway. This was a particularly interesting (and disturbing) chapter after reading Whipping Girl a few weeks ago. The author of Whipping Girl objects rather vehemently to the stereotypical image of the deceptive transsexual who lures in the innocent man only to be revealed as having a PENIS OMG as the clothes come off. This is an incredibly toxic stereotype, not least because of the transsexual people (most of them women) who are murdered every year, by people who claim, "he didn't tell me he was a guy and I just snapped when I found out." For Norah to deliberately enact this sort of scene really bothered me; there was no reason to let it get that far.
There was a lot that bothered me, honestly, and it clearly bothered her, as well, given how awful she felt when she was done. <<<