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While writing a sex scene the other day, it occurred to me that the main thing that makes sex scenes so frequently boring is that there isn't enough dialogue. I mean real dialogue, not "Oh baby baby baby." This is a corollary to the idea that sex scenes should express character. (It's also good if they advance the plot.) But I have noticed that while a lot of writers have gotten the "express character" part down, by showing how dominant characters have sex in a dominant (or sometimes surprisingly non-dominant) manner, and so forth, they frequently neglect to have them say anything.
Now, the moment of orgasm and the moments immediately before it do not lend themselves to coherent dialogue, but people are quite capable of speech, if both their mouths aren't busy with something else, at every moment leading up to the point when they get distracted. They can tease each other. They can get distracted. They can accidentally hurt each other. (Why have I never ever read a sex scene where someone leans their elbow on someone else's hair? Surely I'm not the only person that ever happens to.) They can get into negotiations, bickering, or arguments over what they're going to do with each other. They can reminisce about old times or other experiences. They can make discoveries about each other's bodies or what the other person likes. They can discover things they like that they never knew they liked. One person may have trouble getting into the mood, which the other may take as a challenge, an annoyance, or a sign of his or her own unworthiness. Especially if they're an established couple, they can have a conversation about something else entirely.
This is partly a matter of personal preference. I am not endlessly entertained by new variations on how and where the same, or more-or-less the same, act is done. I have been known to read fanfic that was really written as porn, and skip the porn to get to the afterglow, because that's when the characters start speaking to each other again. Still, my feeling is that on the page, sex is cheap, but witty banter is priceless.
Now, the moment of orgasm and the moments immediately before it do not lend themselves to coherent dialogue, but people are quite capable of speech, if both their mouths aren't busy with something else, at every moment leading up to the point when they get distracted. They can tease each other. They can get distracted. They can accidentally hurt each other. (Why have I never ever read a sex scene where someone leans their elbow on someone else's hair? Surely I'm not the only person that ever happens to.) They can get into negotiations, bickering, or arguments over what they're going to do with each other. They can reminisce about old times or other experiences. They can make discoveries about each other's bodies or what the other person likes. They can discover things they like that they never knew they liked. One person may have trouble getting into the mood, which the other may take as a challenge, an annoyance, or a sign of his or her own unworthiness. Especially if they're an established couple, they can have a conversation about something else entirely.
This is partly a matter of personal preference. I am not endlessly entertained by new variations on how and where the same, or more-or-less the same, act is done. I have been known to read fanfic that was really written as porn, and skip the porn to get to the afterglow, because that's when the characters start speaking to each other again. Still, my feeling is that on the page, sex is cheap, but witty banter is priceless.