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I am off to AnimeFest in Dallas first thing tomorrow, to hang with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
telophase, sell Project Blue Rose, watch anime and Dr. Who, and eat barbecue. I am not sure whether or not I will have net access; I am not bringing my laptop for fear of terrorist hysteria on the plane causing it to get lost, stolen, or damaged. Are we now allowed to bring lipstick/chapstick, or is that still considered a form of illegal gel?
ETA: I know laptops are currently allowed. I am concerned that given recent incidents, bringing any form of valuable luggage would be unwise.
Regarding other social problems, I am not expecting anything untoward to occur, as I have never had any serious problems at cons before, but anyone who touches me in a place or manner not generally agreed upon to be socially acceptable among people meeting for the first time is going to satisfy my long-held desire to see just how effective certain techniques are when you do them for real.
While sexual harassment and other forms of intimidation need social action and a general consensus that they are unacceptable in order to be squelched, I have always felt that for my own personal safety, both physical and emotional, it helps a great deal to decide in advance what is and is not acceptable, and what I want to do should someone behave in a hostile or obnoxious manner to me. For one thing, if you have thought about your personal boundaries in advance, it cuts down a lot on the phenomenon of being frozen in shock.
Of course, the actual encounter is always going to be different from what you have mentally rehearsed. But having a general outline of what you want to do will often cover even a very unusual situation. I can't say that I had ever given particular thought to "What do I want to do if an extremely famous author who is also an old man pokes me in the stomach at a convention?" However, several general principles which I had thought of in advance-- "Give people the respect their behavior, not their social status, warrants," "Respond in kind, ie, you don't break someone's knee for making a crude pass," "Make an immediate verbal protest if someone gets out of line," and "If you lay hands on me, I will lay hands on you," turned out to be sufficiently internalized as to be useful under the really quite odd circumstances.
I have now added one I hadn't thought of before, which is, "These all apply even if you are onstage at a formal ceremony." I am not condemning what Connie Willis did. It sounds like she was very poised and classy. Also, I am almost entirely sure that I would have done the exact same thing under the circumstances, as I would have gone into the ceremony with a strong desire to make it go well and smoothly, and would probably have, when suddenly and unexpectedly put on the spot, have clung to that thought like a life raft. (In fact, someone did once grope me under somewhat similar circumstances, and I was so shocked that I froze and did nothing. Hence my decision to try to never let anyone get away with it again.) But having had the leisure to think about it, I've decided that for me, it would be more satisfying and do more social good to respond on the spot-- especially since Willis' attempt to keep the focus on the Hugo winners and not on Ellison being an asshole only worked for the space of the ceremony itslef.
So, let's look out for ourselves and each other, and keep thinking about what we can do to change the underlying problems. And also, have a great weekend!
telophase, sell Project Blue Rose, watch anime and Dr. Who, and eat barbecue. I am not sure whether or not I will have net access; I am not bringing my laptop for fear of terrorist hysteria on the plane causing it to get lost, stolen, or damaged. Are we now allowed to bring lipstick/chapstick, or is that still considered a form of illegal gel?ETA: I know laptops are currently allowed. I am concerned that given recent incidents, bringing any form of valuable luggage would be unwise.
Regarding other social problems, I am not expecting anything untoward to occur, as I have never had any serious problems at cons before, but anyone who touches me in a place or manner not generally agreed upon to be socially acceptable among people meeting for the first time is going to satisfy my long-held desire to see just how effective certain techniques are when you do them for real.
While sexual harassment and other forms of intimidation need social action and a general consensus that they are unacceptable in order to be squelched, I have always felt that for my own personal safety, both physical and emotional, it helps a great deal to decide in advance what is and is not acceptable, and what I want to do should someone behave in a hostile or obnoxious manner to me. For one thing, if you have thought about your personal boundaries in advance, it cuts down a lot on the phenomenon of being frozen in shock.
Of course, the actual encounter is always going to be different from what you have mentally rehearsed. But having a general outline of what you want to do will often cover even a very unusual situation. I can't say that I had ever given particular thought to "What do I want to do if an extremely famous author who is also an old man pokes me in the stomach at a convention?" However, several general principles which I had thought of in advance-- "Give people the respect their behavior, not their social status, warrants," "Respond in kind, ie, you don't break someone's knee for making a crude pass," "Make an immediate verbal protest if someone gets out of line," and "If you lay hands on me, I will lay hands on you," turned out to be sufficiently internalized as to be useful under the really quite odd circumstances.
I have now added one I hadn't thought of before, which is, "These all apply even if you are onstage at a formal ceremony." I am not condemning what Connie Willis did. It sounds like she was very poised and classy. Also, I am almost entirely sure that I would have done the exact same thing under the circumstances, as I would have gone into the ceremony with a strong desire to make it go well and smoothly, and would probably have, when suddenly and unexpectedly put on the spot, have clung to that thought like a life raft. (In fact, someone did once grope me under somewhat similar circumstances, and I was so shocked that I froze and did nothing. Hence my decision to try to never let anyone get away with it again.) But having had the leisure to think about it, I've decided that for me, it would be more satisfying and do more social good to respond on the spot-- especially since Willis' attempt to keep the focus on the Hugo winners and not on Ellison being an asshole only worked for the space of the ceremony itslef.
So, let's look out for ourselves and each other, and keep thinking about what we can do to change the underlying problems. And also, have a great weekend!