I Remember You, by H. L. Logan

[rachelmanija]

An F/F amnesia romance with all the tropes, plus a nicely done mystery and more emotional realism than I expected.

Cara wakes up in a hospital with a bunch of people she doesn’t recognize, including one very hot woman, calling her “Care,” a nickname she despises. The last thing she remembers is prom. But they tell her she’s been in college for three years. Apparently she got retrograde amnesia after jogging into a tree. (I give Logan points for making the accident both ridiculous and the sort of ridiculous thing many of us have actually done. I have not jogged into a tree. But I have walked into a lightpost.)

Cara had intended to come out when she went to college, so she jumps to the not-unnatural conclusion that she did and that Bibi, the sexy woman she lives with who is very concerned and also handsy, is her girlfriend. But she’s baffled by a number of other things: how did she change from a shy bookworm to an outgoing party girl? Why does she now drink and party (and jog!) when she remembers hating all those things? Why is her family being so weirdly cagey about the last three years? And when will Bibi stop being so standoffish and get back to having the awesome sex they must have been enjoying for years?

You will not be surprised that, as we immediately learn from Bibi’s POV, she and Cara are roommates, not girlfriends. Also, Cara was not out, and Bibi is straight (she thinks). But Cara is so devastated by the amnesia (which is likely to force her to drop out of school, among other things), it seems cruel to immediately drop what will feel like a breakup on her. Surely it would be better to just be extra-affectionate for a little while, until she’s stronger, of course without doing anything actually sexual…

This leads exactly where you expect: once Bibi steps into the role, she finds it surprisingly comfortable and tempting, and Cara herself surprisingly desirable. Meanwhile, Cara is more and more disturbed by the changes from the person she was to the person she apparently became. Everyone says college changes you, but this much?

The writing is clunky (though some of the dialogue is pretty funny) but the story is well-done. The mystery aspect makes it a page-turner, and it has a satisfying resolution. (Not involving sexual assault, just FYI.) Bibi’s sexual awakening is believable and hot, the minor characters all have just a little more depth and complexity than you’d expect, and tropes aside, the character interactions and emotions feel real. Cara is naturally upset when Bibi finally confesses all, but is most bothered by the question of why she’s still in the closet.

I want a tropey amnesia romance to be hot, play out certain tropes, and explore some questions of identity. This isn’t great literature but it does do all that, and I enjoyed it more than some more polished books that don’t follow through on their own premises.

I Remember You

Comments

[scioscribe]

I +1 all of this. The storytelling hits a lot of my buttons, even if the writing is a little weak, and I really liked that it took the non-obvious route a few time (Cara's new party-going friends aren't all shallow and stupid! the past trauma wasn't sexual assault!).

[rachelmanija]

I read the whole thing in one sitting, which is something I haven't done much recently.

I also liked that there was more to the party girls than met the eye. Also the two sets of parents, both with flaws and strengths. And the chance encounter with the married gay couple. Sometimes realism clashes with iddiness, but in this case there were just the right amounts of both.

[asakiyume]

This sounds like a lot of fun--I like that it has a mystery in it.

[osprey_archer]

That sounds delightful. And I'm glad the trauma isn't sexual assault. Sometimes it feels like all the traumas in books are sexual assault.

[meara]

Yes, amen. And especially in queer literature. I went to a movie at the gay film fest in my town last weekend, and confirmed with my friends that we were all holding our breath the whole second half of the movie waiting for one or the other of the protagonists to be raped or murdered, and we were SO relieved when they were just beat up instead. Which is sad and depressing.

[osprey_archer]

Sometimes I think that the sheer density of stories where a woman or a queer person is sexually assaulted is a way to keep women and queer people in line: it sends the message "Behave or you could be next!" But presented as concern or a desire to raise awareness, rather than as a direct threat.

And maybe it's also a way to keep us from telling or hearing stories about ourselves, because sometimes waiting for Shrodinger's Rape to descend is just too tiring and it's easier to watch the newest Marvel movie because you know none of those guys are ever going to get raped.

[meara]

Yeah. And I feel like yes, a certain amount of realism in my romance can be very meaningful. And yes, many of my friends have had some horrific shit happen. But just as many if not more of my straight friends have stories of abuse or worse, but I am almost never holding my breath in a straight romance, worries that that’s the secret backstory (even if occasionally it is)