Cool bits, cracktastic bits

[rachelmanija]

telophase has created a Cool Bits story generator.

The narrative is about triumph beating the odds. Romance blossoms between a scholar and a woman with a gun, while difficulties they encounter include sex against a wall and nothing being as it seems.

oyceter said that someone should make a Cracktastic Bit generator. I here solicit suggestions of cracktastic bits. They can be from any genre or media, though I do think that manga and anime gives great cracktastic.

By "cracktastic," I mean giant talking soldier ducks, giant robot chickens, heads in jars, heads in jars because the villain cut them off and put them there and hopes to clone the body and revive it so he can kill the person again, random incest, exploding heads, cannibal zombie angels, giant floating eyeballs, diseases that make your head spontaneously fall off, attacking floating fetuses, boys dressed in girls' sailor suit uniforms, "I cross-dress because it's so relaxing!" transformations into pandas, adorable chibi side illustrations of eyeballs on a platter, characters wearing kimono in Victorian London, little boys with bags over their heads and an axe in their hand, librarian chickens in tennis shoes and bonnets, possessed cockatiels, conjoined twin villains, combat butlers, butlers named Rifael Rafael, prosthetic limbs that double as any kind of weapon but especially guns or rocket-launchers, tentacle rape, characters with missing eyes (it's a thing), "Whatever you brought home, make sure you share it with your brothers! Oh... it's a wife?"

You know. Stuff like that.

What are your favorite cracktastic bits?

Comments

[elynne.livejournal.com]

More:

* malevolent fungus-insects from outer space that communicate by turning their heads different colours and steal people's brains and stick them in jars with synthetic voice boxes.
* malevolent life-sucking space-traveling colours.
* giant blind albino cave penguins that shout the names of horrible gods.
* people descended from fish-people.
* colossally huge malevolent supersentient magical burrowing worm-things that cause earthquakes.
* a blind idiot god the size of a planet that mindlessly devours everything it encounters.
* everything else H.P. Lovecraft or his co-conspirators ever wrote ever.

Shorter H. P. Lovecraft

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

"Foreigners, women, marine creatures, fungi, old buildings, stars, colors, Gods, and geometry scare me."

Re: Shorter H. P. Lovecraft

[elynne.livejournal.com]

And cold. I remember that he wrote a short story titled IIRC "Cool Air", but I can't remember what it's about. I also have a vague idea (that much less than an actual memory) that he wrote a story about somebody who goes into cryogenic suspension and is woken up to find that something from beyond crawled into his brain while he was frozen and is slowly driving him insane/taking over his mind, but I have no idea if that's an HP thing, something I dreamed, something somebody else entirely wrote, or what. Yay memory like a thing with holes that is made from rotted milk!

Re: Shorter H. P. Lovecraft

[oldmotherchaos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the dude was totally terrified of cold. Cool Air is about an Undead Master Surgeon who helps heal down-and-outs in return for enough ice to keep his body from rotting. There's the whole Mountains of Madness thing down in the Antarctic, too.

The brain worm thing isn't Lovecraft, though. Don't know what that is. Sounds cool though!

Re: Shorter H. P. Lovecraft

[elynne.livejournal.com]

The brain worm thing isn't Lovecraft, though. Don't know what that is. Sounds cool though!

Hmph... I should write it. And then have somebody tell me "Oh, you rewrote that one story by this guy!" and I'll go "D'oh!" Heh. ;)