Cool bits, cracktastic bits

[rachelmanija]

telophase has created a Cool Bits story generator.

The narrative is about triumph beating the odds. Romance blossoms between a scholar and a woman with a gun, while difficulties they encounter include sex against a wall and nothing being as it seems.

oyceter said that someone should make a Cracktastic Bit generator. I here solicit suggestions of cracktastic bits. They can be from any genre or media, though I do think that manga and anime gives great cracktastic.

By "cracktastic," I mean giant talking soldier ducks, giant robot chickens, heads in jars, heads in jars because the villain cut them off and put them there and hopes to clone the body and revive it so he can kill the person again, random incest, exploding heads, cannibal zombie angels, giant floating eyeballs, diseases that make your head spontaneously fall off, attacking floating fetuses, boys dressed in girls' sailor suit uniforms, "I cross-dress because it's so relaxing!" transformations into pandas, adorable chibi side illustrations of eyeballs on a platter, characters wearing kimono in Victorian London, little boys with bags over their heads and an axe in their hand, librarian chickens in tennis shoes and bonnets, possessed cockatiels, conjoined twin villains, combat butlers, butlers named Rifael Rafael, prosthetic limbs that double as any kind of weapon but especially guns or rocket-launchers, tentacle rape, characters with missing eyes (it's a thing), "Whatever you brought home, make sure you share it with your brothers! Oh... it's a wife?"

You know. Stuff like that.

What are your favorite cracktastic bits?

Comments

[oyceter]

Rampaging headless demons (InuYasha)

That is awesome. The only thing better would be if the rampaging headless demons teamed up with the heads in jars to CONQUER THE WORLD!

[telophase.livejournal.com]

That episode had an eeevil demon child trying to make it to the barrier between life and death. Since demons take longer to die than humans, he was finding strong demons and decapitating them, to psychically connect with the head and see what it saw beyond life. The bodies rampaging around was a byproduct of that.

An otter-demon child was running around with his dad's head in a bag, trying to find the body because he thought he might get his dad to come back to life if he got there in time. And once they got the head an body reunited, it was almost too late ... and the only person who could bring back the otter demon dad was Sesshoumaru, who wields a sword that can save a hundred lives with one swing, but which only works if the wielder cares. Sasshoumaru being a tall, impassive youkai who would NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS ADMIT HE CARED ABOUT ANYTHING THE ONLY REASON I FAIL TO KILL MY BROTHER IS THAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT, NOT BECAUSE I FIND EXCUSES NOT TO KILL HIM WHEN I HAVE THE CHANCE.

If I could get that into a cracktastic sound bite, it would be so in there. XD

[oyceter]

Trying SO HARD not to burst into insane giggling hysterics at work.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

This is why I watch Inu-Yasha. It's your standard Rumiko Takahashi show that goes on and on and on and on and on and never fucking ends, but when it hits, it hits.

My favorite character is Sesshoumaru (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v280/telophase14/sesshoumaru3.jpg), who hits all sorts of Cool Bits buttons for me - tall, silver-haired, is sort of nominally evil BUT NOT REALLY, pretends not to care but deep down the wall around his heart is cracking a bit. Inu-Yasha is his half-brother - Inu's mom was a human and Sess's mom was a youkai - and their unnamed dad, referred to as Inupapa by the fandom, was a mighty taiyoukai who left his two swords to his sons - the Tetsaiga, which can slay a hundred warriors with a single blow (but ONLY IF you're protecting someone, which they don't know), to Inu-Yasha, and the Tensaiga, which can save a hundred lives with one blow, (but ONLY IF you care, which they don't know) to Sesshoumaru. Sess is kinda hacked off about getting what is, to him, the useless sword, and spends most of his time showing up and administering smackdowns to his annoying baby brother. Inu cut Sess's left arm off during one of these battles, which is probably why Sess no longer transforms into his huge demon-dog form, because I bet he thinks he'd look stupid as a three-legged dog.

Sesshoumaru eventually figures out how his sword works when he brings Rin, a small human girl who was savaged by wolves that attacked her village, back to life. Even before the attack, she was an orphaned outcast in the village, so she tags after Sesshoumaru, who makes a few token attempts to command her to go away but eventually gives up and she, he, and the small comedy sidekick demon Jakken who also tags after Sesshoumaru (because he fought under Sess in a huge war and swore to follow him always - woo, command presence!), plus a two-headed lizard-beast-horse-thing form an unlikely pack.

Because Sess tends to leave Jakken, Rin, and the lizardy thing behind when he goes on the Inu!Rampage, it took a long time for the main characters to realize that the human-hating Sesshoumaru has basically adopted this small human child. The Big Baddie Naraku steals Rin at one point to try to manipulate Sesshoumaru, which means that Sess considers Naraku his mortal enemy now. Entirely because of the insult to his august personage, of course, and not because he cares one way or the other about Rin, oh, no. When he's notified that Naraku has Rin, it's great: as octopedingenue puts it, his reaction is basically. "Why should I care? It has nothing to do with me. I'm just going for a walk. In this direction. This is a good direction."

And all of that is only ONE TINY PART of the enormous sprawling saga that its Inu-Yasha.

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Oh, okay - I'd seen Rin in a couple of episodes, and wondered WTF.

Also, "INU-YAAAASHAAAAA!!" "KAAAGOOOMEEEEE!!" "INU-YAAASHAAAA!!" "KAAAGOOOMEEEEE!!" I swear those two characters can only find each other by echolocation or something. Or they both keep forgetting each other's names, and have to compensate by saying them over and over really loudly: "Um, hey, dog-boy, wossname... um... Fred? no... I-something... sounds like 'ninny' kinda... oh right IIINU-YAAAASHAAAAAA!!!"

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I swear those two characters can only find each other by echolocation

That makes so much sense. I do find the Inu-Yasha promo that features them screaming that at each other over and over really funny because of that. XD

[octopedingenue]

Someday I will work up the nerve to play Marco Polo, Inuyasha-style, at a con with someone, and IT WILL ROCK.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Oh that will i>totally rock!

[elynne.livejournal.com]

I was just having that thought. :D It would involve cosplay, though, which is Not My Thing - but I'd really enjoy watching it. :D

[octopedingenue]

P.S. RINSOCUTE. And her songsocute!

I have to go re-read her introduction volume now.

[oyceter]

Wow. I have never picked it up, but you are convincing me to! I'm guessing you like the anime more?

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Honestly, the reason I like the anime more is that it would cost so much money to catch up on the manga. :D My TiVo catches it and I have it on in the background while I do art or I watch it while I bike - it's perfect for that.

I think they're broadcasting the final season of the anime now. The manga is still ongoing in Japan, and I'll eventually have to figure out where they split and start getting the manga. But I bet octopedingenue will be happy to help me there. :)

If you were going to start it, you really need to watch the first season more-or-less in order because they introduce all the major characters there - I accidentally got the DVDs out of order and missed the one where the lecherous monk Miroku and the demon-slayer Sango were introduced, so it was confusing until I figured out who they were and why they were traveling with Inu-Yasha and Kagome. After that, until near the end it goes into a repetitive formula of searching for the baddie of the week to regain the shard of the Shikon Jewel that said baddie has, all the while searching for, almost catching, and then losing the main villain Naraku. It's near the end that you start getting things that permanently affect the characters.

[readsalot.livejournal.com]

Adult Swim made it all the way through the final season of Inuyasha a while ago, so they're recycling through it now. The schedule's a little random--you can try to find an episode list somewhere and match it up to their schedule to see where they are.

I've been renting individual disks in order to watch it in Japanese, in order. Advantages to watching in Japanese: honorifics (which just add a lot to character interactions, and are very hard to translate); Jaken's voice actor is much less annoying; and you get to actually hear the opening songs, which Adult Swim doesn't play for some reason of their own.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I'd watch it in Japanese with the subs, because I'm usually a subsnob, but I'm desperately working on a comic right now, and I don't hate the dub, so it works perfectly to be on in the background while I'm working on the computer. except that I ahve to stop and watch the TV when Sesshoumaru is on because I am a sad, sad fangirl

[octopedingenue]

The anime ends with episode(s) 166-167, which roughly corresponds with chapters 345-356/volumes 36-37. Some actual "wait wait WHAT OMG" plot development occurs in the manga after the anime ends, which kills me. At least the first 3 of the 4 movies are loosely in canon with the anime but not the manga. The manga is currently up to chapter 503/volume 51 in Japan, making Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi's longest-running series (not incidentally, she is one of Japan's richest women). Someday my corpse will be found buried Scieszka-style beneath my collapsed shelves of Inuyasha manga. Bookmooch.com and Half.com have helped a lot.

Ear-Tweak is an excellent information resource for the series, including the lovely cracked-out soundclips collection.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Cool, thanks. :D I think I'll be treating Inuyasha like Rurouni Kenshin and starting to buy after the anime continuity ends, and work back on getting a full collection. :D

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

As telophase says, it's a great show to watch for free on Adult Swim.

Another thing I like about it is that she's based the characters very loosely on the Journey to the West. And that cracks me the hell up.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

I recently saw the one with the descendents of Cho Hakkai, Sha Gojyo, and Son Goku. XD

[octopedingenue]

Sanzo and Sesshomaru would get on suprisingly well despite mutual sneering.

Everyone else would get their fluffy ears shot off. Miroku gets fanthwacked and THEN shot.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

That one won pretty hard.

[octopedingenue]

I have nice-quality bootlegs* of the first few seasons if you'd like me to loan them (I still owe you YKK) or make you a copy. I discovered Inuyasha through the dub on Adult Swim (my first anime, AWWW), so I love both sub and dub, but overall the Japanese version is better acted / less cheesy.

*I've spent so much money on licensed Inuyasha material from back when I was young and foolish and it was 3 episodes per $20 DVD, my pirate guilt has shrunk very small.

[oyceter]

Ooooo. I may take you up on that; I strangely feel like I have no anime to watch, despite having Emma and Mushishi on my hard drive. But I don't want to mainline them!

[octopedingenue]

Yes, Sesshomaru is so eeeevil in his fluffy shoujo watercolors. It is a good thing he is a true noble youkai above such worldly things as brotherly squabbles and servant loyalty or someone might get the wrong idea!


P.S. Koga the wolf-demon leader responsible for the wolves who ATE POOR SWEET RIN becomes one of the good guys! Sort of! But this is totally okay because he is hot and wears a fur kilt and swirly-fights and anyway is completely over the baby-eating since he discovered potato chips!

Oh, endless Inuyasha crack, I love you so.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

That whole baby-eating Koga thing wigs me out. I did appreciate the ep I saw recently where his hapless henchmen met Sesshoumaru and Rin and Rin was frightened. XD

[octopedingenue]

That was "Koga and Sesshomaru's Dangerous Encounter" AKA "Rosencrantz & Guildenstern In Feudal Japan" AKA My Favoritest Episode Ever. Koga and Inuyasha's death-battle over junk food! The fearsome power of Sesshomaru's Utterly Blank Stare! The battle climax that wasn't!