Cool bits, cracktastic bits

[rachelmanija]

telophase has created a Cool Bits story generator.

The narrative is about triumph beating the odds. Romance blossoms between a scholar and a woman with a gun, while difficulties they encounter include sex against a wall and nothing being as it seems.

oyceter said that someone should make a Cracktastic Bit generator. I here solicit suggestions of cracktastic bits. They can be from any genre or media, though I do think that manga and anime gives great cracktastic.

By "cracktastic," I mean giant talking soldier ducks, giant robot chickens, heads in jars, heads in jars because the villain cut them off and put them there and hopes to clone the body and revive it so he can kill the person again, random incest, exploding heads, cannibal zombie angels, giant floating eyeballs, diseases that make your head spontaneously fall off, attacking floating fetuses, boys dressed in girls' sailor suit uniforms, "I cross-dress because it's so relaxing!" transformations into pandas, adorable chibi side illustrations of eyeballs on a platter, characters wearing kimono in Victorian London, little boys with bags over their heads and an axe in their hand, librarian chickens in tennis shoes and bonnets, possessed cockatiels, conjoined twin villains, combat butlers, butlers named Rifael Rafael, prosthetic limbs that double as any kind of weapon but especially guns or rocket-launchers, tentacle rape, characters with missing eyes (it's a thing), "Whatever you brought home, make sure you share it with your brothers! Oh... it's a wife?"

You know. Stuff like that.

What are your favorite cracktastic bits?

Comments

[anachred.livejournal.com]

Wolf head snapping enemy princess's arm off in post-death revenge, empowered by a normally benevolent death/life god, which is searching for its head via purpose-driven goo
(is this too highly specific? Naw...)

Self and inner demon love the opposite twins, come to switch, still fight bitterly over kissing whichever it happens to be

Switch to inner demon/alternate identity when aroused, monitored closely with "Rabu-Rabu" thermometer when undesirable, and sprinkled with heart cutouts...

I am plant/guardian angel/living gun!
(then again, I only watched 10 episodes, it might not be so cracktastic as I've understood it to be. Not likely)

Trends to emulate:

Carrying a bag of two-inch vials in dress results in disguise as pregnant woman: Perfect!

Goggles and a few years alone on a deserted planet with internet access for a kid will provide the universe with its youngest hacker-genius and star-whisperer.