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My Dad and step-mother called me out of the blue yesterday: "Hey, we're in Anaheim and we decided to go to Disneyland. Wanna come?"
I hadn't been there since I was seven, so I got in my car and hit the freeway. (Never get on the 5 south to Anaheim on a Friday mid-day. Or Saturday mid-morning.) My parents were there with a family friend, E--, and we all headed for the Happiest Place on Earth.
Once there, Dad started buying me caramel apples and reminiscing about his childhood. I realized that, whether he knew it or not, he was trying, perhaps prompted by my tell-all memoir, to re-create my childhood, only this time in a normal American non-insane way. It was a little odd, because even if my parents hadn't decided to raise me at a bizarre ashram in India where I was the only foreign child in the entire town, we probably wouldn't have been Disneyland type people anyway.
It seems that my parents and I have agreed to disagree over whether they should have raised me differently, and whether Meher Baba is God, and whether Baba-loving is a religion, and so forth. Which is an improvement over the days when those were all forbidden topics. My memoir turned out to be the sword which cut the Gordian knot of the Brown Family We Do Not Discuss Anythingness. Which means now I get to annoy them as much as they get to annoy me. Which is nice.
The main thing that struck me about Disneyland itself was how unsophisticated the rides were. The Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas is far more exciting, well-written, and interactive than anything I saw at Disneyland, and more technically impressive than anything but Star Tours. Maybe I missed the good stuff-- Indiana Jones and Space Mountain were closed-- but as far as the Disneyland experience went, judged only by the rides, I was underwhelmed. The lines for everything are at least half an hour long, and the rides all last three to five minutes. Oh, and I don't do roller coasters.
Star Tours was the most technically impressive, and quite fun. The set-up is that you're going on a space tour of the Star Wars universe, and the line goes through a space port with amusing robots and aliens doing various jobs. Then you sit in a spaceship, and the seats bounce around while a film of the shuttle having adventures plays. How do they simulate the pushed-back-in-your-seat effect of acceleration?
Pirates of the Caribbean was my favorite. It's got pirates doing amusing pirate things, and the only good song in Disneyland, and the boat takes a few quick spins and drops, and the memory of Johnny Depp rode with me all the way.
The Haunted Mansion is mildly amusing, with one mildly scary bit and one mildly cool one (the ballroom ghosts.) But the narration was dumb and the dioramas lacked wit.
That also goes for the Jungle Cruise. The boat guy's material was from the Borscht Belt's Paleolithic period.
Toon Town is strictly for the kiddies.
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is a mildly amusing (sorry, that phrase covers almost everything) exercise in reckless driving. I like the part where you get hit by a train and go to Hell, though no one else knew it was Hell and thought the devils were monkeys or mongeese.
Peter Pan is pretty and sweet. Especially if you're six years old.
The train and the monorail are a train and a monorail.
So what's the deal? Why are people so into Disneyland? Was it cool and new when it first opened, and now people love it because it's familiar and comforting and always the same and an American ritual, like McDonald's?
I did have fun, but I don't suppose I'll be back for another twenty-three years. Vegas, baby-- now that's what I call an amusement park.
I hadn't been there since I was seven, so I got in my car and hit the freeway. (Never get on the 5 south to Anaheim on a Friday mid-day. Or Saturday mid-morning.) My parents were there with a family friend, E--, and we all headed for the Happiest Place on Earth.
Once there, Dad started buying me caramel apples and reminiscing about his childhood. I realized that, whether he knew it or not, he was trying, perhaps prompted by my tell-all memoir, to re-create my childhood, only this time in a normal American non-insane way. It was a little odd, because even if my parents hadn't decided to raise me at a bizarre ashram in India where I was the only foreign child in the entire town, we probably wouldn't have been Disneyland type people anyway.
It seems that my parents and I have agreed to disagree over whether they should have raised me differently, and whether Meher Baba is God, and whether Baba-loving is a religion, and so forth. Which is an improvement over the days when those were all forbidden topics. My memoir turned out to be the sword which cut the Gordian knot of the Brown Family We Do Not Discuss Anythingness. Which means now I get to annoy them as much as they get to annoy me. Which is nice.
The main thing that struck me about Disneyland itself was how unsophisticated the rides were. The Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas is far more exciting, well-written, and interactive than anything I saw at Disneyland, and more technically impressive than anything but Star Tours. Maybe I missed the good stuff-- Indiana Jones and Space Mountain were closed-- but as far as the Disneyland experience went, judged only by the rides, I was underwhelmed. The lines for everything are at least half an hour long, and the rides all last three to five minutes. Oh, and I don't do roller coasters.
Star Tours was the most technically impressive, and quite fun. The set-up is that you're going on a space tour of the Star Wars universe, and the line goes through a space port with amusing robots and aliens doing various jobs. Then you sit in a spaceship, and the seats bounce around while a film of the shuttle having adventures plays. How do they simulate the pushed-back-in-your-seat effect of acceleration?
Pirates of the Caribbean was my favorite. It's got pirates doing amusing pirate things, and the only good song in Disneyland, and the boat takes a few quick spins and drops, and the memory of Johnny Depp rode with me all the way.
The Haunted Mansion is mildly amusing, with one mildly scary bit and one mildly cool one (the ballroom ghosts.) But the narration was dumb and the dioramas lacked wit.
That also goes for the Jungle Cruise. The boat guy's material was from the Borscht Belt's Paleolithic period.
Toon Town is strictly for the kiddies.
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is a mildly amusing (sorry, that phrase covers almost everything) exercise in reckless driving. I like the part where you get hit by a train and go to Hell, though no one else knew it was Hell and thought the devils were monkeys or mongeese.
Peter Pan is pretty and sweet. Especially if you're six years old.
The train and the monorail are a train and a monorail.
So what's the deal? Why are people so into Disneyland? Was it cool and new when it first opened, and now people love it because it's familiar and comforting and always the same and an American ritual, like McDonald's?
I did have fun, but I don't suppose I'll be back for another twenty-three years. Vegas, baby-- now that's what I call an amusement park.
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From:
no subject
Oh, and I think you get the acceleration push by shifting everyone so the Earth is below them without changing the picture: gravity vs acceleration is a matter of perspective.
-Mari
From: (Anonymous)
Canada Girl
As for Haunted Houses, I only go there when I really feel like wetting myself in public (I am being sarcastic by the way). I happen to be the type of person who can watch someone hide behind a door, and still scream bloody murder when they say "boo". Anyways, the first time I actually went through a haunted house was with my brother. It was a little cheezy, lights went on, things popped up, etc. Anyways, I kept on feeling this hand on my hair, and I thought it was spider webs or my brother. I shrugged it off. The next time it happened, I looked at my brother, but he wasn't doing anything, so I turned back around. The last time it happened, I turned around to see what was going on, and saw this guy in a gorilla mask.
I freaked.
Now, I don't remember what actually happened next, but according to my brother, I screamed, jumped up from that little car we were sitting in, and bolted. Well, my brother was holding on to me, but apparently my little legs were pumping 100 miles a minute. My brother almost peeped himself, he was laughing so hard. He said I looked exactly like I belonged in a cartoon.
Nice to know I have star potential.
-CG
From:
no subject
The simulated acceleration in your seat is by tilting. You can't see the tilt because they move the scenery with you. Cool tech.
---L.
From:
no subject
I've never been to Vegas, but they have a permanent Cirque du Soleil show. I went to one in Madrid and it was fun spectacle.
From:
no subject
Mostly I recall it being a lot more fun if you go on a weekday when it's not tourist season, because otherwise the rides aren't worth the bother. But if you're not constantly waiting in line, it can be fun in some places and painfully dated in others.
Did you go on the Small World ride? I think everyone's psyche needs to be marred by same.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
Because while wearing Mickey Mouse on a T-shirt is just creepy, Marvin the Martian and the Tasmanian Devil (not to mention Wile E. Coyote) rock.
From:
no subject
---L.
From:
no subject
Two reasons one enjoys Disneyland: nostalgia and romance (cheesy romance, almost, but romance nevertheless). The Disneyland experience is muted without at least one of those reasons present. For me, at least.
Just don't go to California Adventure. It kinda sucks ass.