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When I posted about how crazy I was about the new Doctor Who, several fans of the old series' wrote charming reminiscenses about being children and watching it in fascinated terror from behind the sofa. This reminded me of the series which I adored as a kid because it was sf, but which also terrified me, though in a good way: Land of the Lost.
In this 1970s series, a family goes white-water rafting and is spit through a dimensional portal into the Land of the Lost, where there are dinosaurs and creepy lizard-aliens and ancient artifacts and other cool stuff. (This is set up in the opening credits, where what I recalled as a haunting theme song played: "Laaaaaaa-aaaand of the Loooo-oooost! Laaaaa-aaaand...") Curious, I looked it up on Netflix. Bingo!
My disillusionment began with the very first note of the theme song: TWANG! I had not recalled banjos. In a lurid, radioactive-looking landscape, the Marshall family goes white-water rafting while an extremely corny banjo country song plays. Then slabs of styrofoam begin to fall! Yikes! Out they pop into a primeval landscape, where they immediately begin to overact like mad. And then a stop-motion T-Rex attacks!
The family consists of preachy granola Dad, overacting brother Will, and one-note little sister Holly. I appreciate that Holly is quite active and even heroic. However, her acting and dialogue is beyond dreadful. I appreciate that the series is fairly smart and genuinely sf-nal. However, once more... acting and dialogue. I was reminded of an acting teacher who explained the tendency to make large and unmotivated gestures because you're not sure what you're doing. He called this "milking the giant cow." Many giant cows were milked in the making of this show.
The family flees to a cave, pursued by the (pretty darn good for its time and budget) stop-motion T-Rex. Later, they rescue a monkey-alien kid, Cha-Ka. They hoist him up to the cave in a pulley-elevator, which they apparently constructed between scenes. Then the stop-motion T-Rex attacks! And moral lessons ensue! A sock-puppet T-Rex roars repeatedly, displaying the flat red interior of his sock-puppet mouth!
Cha-Ka sneaks out of the cave to return to his family! The Marshalls follow him! His family attacks! The stop-motion T-Rex attacks! The family flees to a cave, pursued by the (pretty darn good for its time and budget) stop-motion T-Rex. (I cut-and-pasted this sentence, just like the footage.) But it's OK, because Cha-Ka leaves them giant plastic apples the next morning. Holly says, "I wish the T-Rex would drop dead-- for real!" Everyone reacts as if this was a humorous remark. The T-Rex rampages. End.
I then turned on the commentary track, which was ever so much more entertaining than the actual show. It turns out that David Gerrold from Star Trek was the story editor, which explains the complex sfnal world of the show.
He said that NBC decreed that the show had to be educational, which meant they had to hire a linguist to create Cha-Ka's language. (No, I don't quite get that either.) She proceeded to create a language which lacked the sound for H and L, so every time Cha-Ka addresses Will or Holly Marshall, he called them "Wee-ah" and "Ah-ee Marshaa." Also, this meant that no one who knew that the creepy lizard-aliens were called Sleestacks could say the word "Sleestack." The linguist helpfully explained that the Pakuni pronunciation of "Sleestack" was "See-Ah-Sta-Ku." Gerrold resorted to having the Marshalls find graffiti that read, "Beware of Sleestacks."
Gerrold did address the issue of the horrible dialogue, rather defensively, by saying that yes, it was corny, but it was also honest and sincere, and if honest means corny, then the world needs more corniness! I believe that in law school this is known as "arguing from a false premise."
In this 1970s series, a family goes white-water rafting and is spit through a dimensional portal into the Land of the Lost, where there are dinosaurs and creepy lizard-aliens and ancient artifacts and other cool stuff. (This is set up in the opening credits, where what I recalled as a haunting theme song played: "Laaaaaaa-aaaand of the Loooo-oooost! Laaaaa-aaaand...") Curious, I looked it up on Netflix. Bingo!
My disillusionment began with the very first note of the theme song: TWANG! I had not recalled banjos. In a lurid, radioactive-looking landscape, the Marshall family goes white-water rafting while an extremely corny banjo country song plays. Then slabs of styrofoam begin to fall! Yikes! Out they pop into a primeval landscape, where they immediately begin to overact like mad. And then a stop-motion T-Rex attacks!
The family consists of preachy granola Dad, overacting brother Will, and one-note little sister Holly. I appreciate that Holly is quite active and even heroic. However, her acting and dialogue is beyond dreadful. I appreciate that the series is fairly smart and genuinely sf-nal. However, once more... acting and dialogue. I was reminded of an acting teacher who explained the tendency to make large and unmotivated gestures because you're not sure what you're doing. He called this "milking the giant cow." Many giant cows were milked in the making of this show.
The family flees to a cave, pursued by the (pretty darn good for its time and budget) stop-motion T-Rex. Later, they rescue a monkey-alien kid, Cha-Ka. They hoist him up to the cave in a pulley-elevator, which they apparently constructed between scenes. Then the stop-motion T-Rex attacks! And moral lessons ensue! A sock-puppet T-Rex roars repeatedly, displaying the flat red interior of his sock-puppet mouth!
Cha-Ka sneaks out of the cave to return to his family! The Marshalls follow him! His family attacks! The stop-motion T-Rex attacks! The family flees to a cave, pursued by the (pretty darn good for its time and budget) stop-motion T-Rex. (I cut-and-pasted this sentence, just like the footage.) But it's OK, because Cha-Ka leaves them giant plastic apples the next morning. Holly says, "I wish the T-Rex would drop dead-- for real!" Everyone reacts as if this was a humorous remark. The T-Rex rampages. End.
I then turned on the commentary track, which was ever so much more entertaining than the actual show. It turns out that David Gerrold from Star Trek was the story editor, which explains the complex sfnal world of the show.
He said that NBC decreed that the show had to be educational, which meant they had to hire a linguist to create Cha-Ka's language. (No, I don't quite get that either.) She proceeded to create a language which lacked the sound for H and L, so every time Cha-Ka addresses Will or Holly Marshall, he called them "Wee-ah" and "Ah-ee Marshaa." Also, this meant that no one who knew that the creepy lizard-aliens were called Sleestacks could say the word "Sleestack." The linguist helpfully explained that the Pakuni pronunciation of "Sleestack" was "See-Ah-Sta-Ku." Gerrold resorted to having the Marshalls find graffiti that read, "Beware of Sleestacks."
Gerrold did address the issue of the horrible dialogue, rather defensively, by saying that yes, it was corny, but it was also honest and sincere, and if honest means corny, then the world needs more corniness! I believe that in law school this is known as "arguing from a false premise."
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