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I have bad skin. It's naturally very oily, so I have acne (I took the dangerous supposed miracle drug Accutane TWICE, and it only worked as long as I kept taking it, and then the dermatologist lost my file) but if I apply anything to treat the acne, it gets so dry that bits peel off. Also, I bite my fingernails.
I say all this not to totally gross you all out, but to explain how it could have happened that, while driving along yesterday to do some errands, I rubbed at an itch on my throat, and withdrew my fingers covered in blood. And also to explain why I didn't think OMIGOD I've been attacked by an invisible vampire THE SUN THE SUN IT BURNS! I immediately knew what had happened: I must have scratched some blemish and caught a bit of skin on a sharp fingernail.
However, knowing what was going on did not eliminate the problem. I grabbed a piece of paper and attempted to clean up, but I had no tissues and a page from a MapQuest print-out is not ideal for cleaning up liquid biohazards. Soon the paper looked like I had murdered someone on top of it. When I pulled into the post office parking lot, I looked in the rear-view mirror, and saw that I had just smeared what I'm sure was actually a very small quantity of blood all over, so I now looked like someone had attempted to slit my throat. If I walked into the post office like that, someone would usher me into a chair while someone else called the cops.
More MapQuest paper and a small amount of Gatorade (which I had in the front seat anyway) later, I skulked into the post-office, chin tucked. No one said anything, though I fancied I got a funny look. Upon examing myself when I returned to the car, I saw that I had the classic vampire presentation: a single line of blood down the throat. And not being a guy, I could not even explain that I cut myself shaving.
More MapQuest and Gatorade, and another spot-check at the library parking lot showed that I had finally triumphed: only a teeny speck of blood at the scratch-site remained. Whew. Guess I'm not hemophiliac after all.
Does this sort of thing ever happen to anyone else, or is this yet another "Only to Rachel" situation?
I say all this not to totally gross you all out, but to explain how it could have happened that, while driving along yesterday to do some errands, I rubbed at an itch on my throat, and withdrew my fingers covered in blood. And also to explain why I didn't think OMIGOD I've been attacked by an invisible vampire THE SUN THE SUN IT BURNS! I immediately knew what had happened: I must have scratched some blemish and caught a bit of skin on a sharp fingernail.
However, knowing what was going on did not eliminate the problem. I grabbed a piece of paper and attempted to clean up, but I had no tissues and a page from a MapQuest print-out is not ideal for cleaning up liquid biohazards. Soon the paper looked like I had murdered someone on top of it. When I pulled into the post office parking lot, I looked in the rear-view mirror, and saw that I had just smeared what I'm sure was actually a very small quantity of blood all over, so I now looked like someone had attempted to slit my throat. If I walked into the post office like that, someone would usher me into a chair while someone else called the cops.
More MapQuest paper and a small amount of Gatorade (which I had in the front seat anyway) later, I skulked into the post-office, chin tucked. No one said anything, though I fancied I got a funny look. Upon examing myself when I returned to the car, I saw that I had the classic vampire presentation: a single line of blood down the throat. And not being a guy, I could not even explain that I cut myself shaving.
More MapQuest and Gatorade, and another spot-check at the library parking lot showed that I had finally triumphed: only a teeny speck of blood at the scratch-site remained. Whew. Guess I'm not hemophiliac after all.
Does this sort of thing ever happen to anyone else, or is this yet another "Only to Rachel" situation?