My shower looks like someone murdered Blueberry Violet Beauregard.

[rachelmanija]

While looking into dying my hair at home, I found this hilarious set of bad reviews for a blue hair dye aptly named Splat.

These are all from different reviews:

Disaster in a bottle

This will color everything except your hair blue!

I look like a blueberry.

THANK THE BABY JESUS WE ARE “SOCIAL DISTANCING”

Don't do it!

BLUE DISASTER!

Jesus christ blue!!

WOULD MAKE AN AMAZING GIFT FOR SOMEONE YOU HATE

Week 2 and I’m still trying to get my daughter to not look like the wicked witch of the west!

EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHED WAS BLUE.

Most temporary colors say to wash until water runs clear. THE WATER NEVER RUNS CLEAR Y’ALL.

my shower looks like i butchered a smurf.

My tub look like we killed a smurf when we got done.

I guess i’ll get used to my bathtub looking like a smurf massacre.

If you were ever curious what it would be like to clean up a murder buy this hair dye.

Comments

[scioscribe]

I don't know what my favorite is. Possibly either "my shower looks like i butchered a smurf" or "AN AMAZING GIFT FOR SOMEONE YOU HATE."

I also like how many people went straight to Smurf snuff.

[sholio]

Those were my favorites too. I started giggling out loud at "my shower looks like i butchered a smurf."

[rachelmanija]

I didn't even quote them all!

Color is great. My daughter loves the way her hair turned out. The shower however looks like she killed a colony of Smurfs in it.

[sholio]

Now I'm reading the reviews. OMG.

"To remove it from the surface of your tub, sink, and soul I would recommend tylex and a corse brush."

[sovay]

Now I'm reading the reviews. OMG.

"Cons: Literally everything else."

[asakiyume]

Amazing gift for someone you hate was excellent--that and "the water will never run clear, y'all."

[cgbookcat1]

I've used Overtone Extreme Blue this summer to add/maintain a stripe in my hair. It fades in about two weeks but it's easy to use and no smurfs were murdered.

[rachelmanija]

I ended up using Pulp Riot. It only works on the parts of my hair that are already bleached but it looks nice and I'm not a blueberry.

[brainwane]

Ha! Thank you for sharing :)

[yhlee]

i needed that so bad. =)

[affreca]

I used Splat about 10 years ago when I dyed my hair blue. I was a grad student with waist length hair, and could not afford to have my hair colored in a salon. I liked the color I got with it. I made my share of smurf killing jokes, but the blue cleaned off most of the surfaces fine.

I'm trying to gather up the energy to bleach and dye the ends of my hair green again, going for a dryad look.

[rachelmanija]

The photos of it look great.

[bemused_writer]

These are amazing. XD Thank you for sharing!

[sabotabby]

Oh no. I'm so sorry! I'm laughing a bit because I had a Pandemic Bangs Disaster and what is there to do but laugh?

[wpadmirer]

OMG, I love those reviews!

[sartorias]

LOLOLOL!!!!!!!

[sovay]

my shower looks like i butchered a smurf.

I find this the funniest of the smurf variations. "Jesus christ blue!!" also functions quite effectively as an adjective, an expletive, and an existential howl.

[rosefox]

Sacre bleu, literally!

[ellen_fremedon]

I've had very good luck with the regular Splat kits, which come with their own bleach. I had been considering trying the no-bleach ones. Maybe I won't do that.

[rachelmanija]

Are you OK with sacrificing a Smurf in your bathtub?

[ellen_fremedon]

I would be, but I'm pretty sure the building management would not. (Though with two cats, it's not like I'm getting my security deposit back anyway...)

[minoanmiss]

Rude reviews are the best!

[isis]

Hee, what fun! I am tempted! I never liked Smurfs, anyway.

[swingandswirl]

Bahahah. Thanks for the laugh!

(Also, Smurfs are creepy and I don't mourn their demise if it gets me awesome blue hair.)

[mrissa]

When T dyed his beard blue for a pirate-themed bonspiel, he ended up with two little dots of blue dye on his neck. They looked like a Smurf vampire had been at him.

[lydamorehouse]

Interestingly, this also happens when you spend nearly 200 dollars for a professional blue dye. We went traveling after dropping a boatload of cash for a professional salon dye for Mason and he took a shower THREE DAYS LATER in North Dakota and we thought we might also have to pay a hotel for a new shower. It was... yeah, I would not have thought it was possible to ever get the stain out but the hotel staff was EXTREMELY KIND TO US because we offered to do the work, they gave us the industrial strength cleaner and promised (and I am not kidding) to bury the towels so we wouldn't even have to pay to have them replaced.

So I mean yes, Splat is awful, but I'm not convinced that it isn't just partly the nature of blue dye.

[naye]

I'm HOWLING. Thank you for sharing.

[dantesspirit]

I've used Splat! for years and done so successfully. Those reviews are hilarious and its likely people who never actually read the directions first.

[meara]

I am lazy and so my concern tends to be “but what color does this blue fade to?” A few years ago I dyed my whole head of hair (after first bleaching) and after a sudden in person work meeting had to dye it back but have kept a streak for a few years. Mostly using manic panic—the first blue I had turned sort of pale turquoise, the next one I tried turned a little purpley and then faded to pastel pink, which I decided I quite liked.

[cynthia1960]

great reviews.

[rushthatspeaks]

These reviews fascinate me, as I have been using Splat in blue very happily for years without any issues-- it's the cheapest and most widely available blue I've found that actually works. There's some very funny writing here, but, like, if I were trying to fuck up the results I don't think I could duplicate some of this... I mean, yeah, blue comes out a little when you get your hair wet at all for a few weeks, but that is the nature of all blue dye by anyone, forever.

[rachelmanija]

I wonder if there was a problem with some batches of the dye. The red that's in the same line as this blue has similar reviews, but other Splat dyes (including other blue ones) don't.

[rushthatspeaks]

Very possible! Splat is the CVS house brand of dye, so I would not be at all surprised if the formula gets shuffled around depending on what's cheapest.

[torachan]

I've only ever dyed my hair at home but I was always happy with Manic Panic.

[illariy]

Haha, love it! Makes me kind of curious to try it. Or maybe better, to have someone I dislike try it and get a video of it.