Spoiler-jutsu kicks my ass

[rachelmanija]

I went to the manga shop to pick up the latest volumes of Naruto. As I grabbed the latest one, one of the two ten or eleven-year-old boys standing there examining them said, "Oh, that's the one where [GINORMOUS AND TOTALLY UNEXPECTED SPOILER HAPPENS!]"

"...what?" I said. "WHAT?! HEY! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!!"

I had the volume in my hand, and I bopped him atop the head with it. (Not hard!)

"Dude!" said his friend. "Don't blurt out spoilers like that."

"Uh, sorry," said Spoiler Boy.

"You SHOULD be sorry!" I retorted ungracefully.

The shop employees attempted to console me ("you should have hit him harder!"), but the damage was done. It was just like Kakashi getting spoiler-attacked, only worse.

And then I went home and tried to console myself by printing the yaoi-illusion since stupid Viz censored it by transforming it into a silhouette, only the site linked on reread_no_jutsu is virus-infected and completely crashed my computer, forcing me to type from a net cafe until tomorrow, when hopefully the computer repair place can fix it. (Details at oyceter.)

...please do not put spoilers in comments, or I will hit you with a shrink-wrapped volume of Naruto.

Comments

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Was the yaoi illusion really that bad? I think I was linked to it a while back, and don't remember thinking it was graphic or anything.

Perhaps we should be glad the same editor didn't get Godchild? Or did they?

[octopedingenue]

Behold Sasuke-kun's delicately smooth upper abdomen.

I note pointedly that not only are the girl!Sexy no Jutsus in Naruto volume 1 not turned to silhouettes, on several their areolas are perfectly visible.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

I will never be convinced that Sai is not gay.

That is so horrible! So graphic! Why, it is 50000 times more likely to corrupt today's youth as that scene in Bleach where (mild Bleach vol 23~ spoiler) Matsumoto tackles Orihime to the ground while naked and dripping wet from the bath.

I remember being more annoyed by Sexy no Jutsu than I was with SDK's obsession with Kyo grabbing Yuya's boobs and the constant fanservice with Yuya (and Okuni and Mahiro, when they showed up.)

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

There was some weird censorship in Yami, too, which, IIRC left one thing ambiguous but a gay blowjob perfectly clear.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

What about the bit where Muraki rapes Hisoka in flashback? Granted, that was more than I cared to see, but that applies to rape in general, regardless of the genders involved.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

I remember that not being much changed. The whole thing was bizarrely inconsistent.

[octopedingenue]

That was the gay blowjob that stayed totally visible! Meanwhile they cut IIRC a random scene with Tsuzuki shirtless and male coworkers ogling him.

[mystickeeper.livejournal.com]

Oh no! Which site is the virus-infected one? While I didn't claim an arc at reread_no_jutsu, I've been hoping follow along.

[octopedingenue]

I have changed both the links in the reread_no_jutsu userinfo to sites I hope are cleaner. Someone let me know if they are not! And I will be uploading chapters to Mediafire as well, which I hope is clean.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Aw, man. I hate spoilers! I'm sorry.

[tevriel.livejournal.com]

Vader is Luke's father.

>.>

[coraa.livejournal.com]

Oh, ack.

I still haven't seen the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie, because the day after it came out in the theaters, I was in a video game store and one of the customers was having a loud conversation with the clerk about a massive end-of-movie spoiler. Now, I wasn't all that overeager to see it anyway, having not been all that thrilled with the second one... but that slaughtered my remaining interest right there. Do people not think?

[octopedingenue]

AGH. I will go de-link the site now!

[octopedingenue]

I am so so so sorry! I have most site ads blocked off with Adblock Plus / Spybot / WinPatrol / Flashblock, so I didn't even notice that MangaFox had ads, let alone spyware-y ones. I've changed the Read Online link to OneManga.com, which rashaka recommended, so I hope that it's clean. And the Canon Yaoi of awesome is now here.

The Spoiler Boy will burn in hell. As will Viz, which has also removed all of Sai's references to Naruto's penis!

[re-weird.livejournal.com]

How is that even possible? IIRC, he references it a lot (to my discomfort when I first read that).

[octopedingenue]

Now Sai just says some vaguely emasculating things and Naruto reacts with seemingly over-the-top rage. It's very weird.

(I think all the PENIS PENIS PENIS also made me uncomfortable when I first read it, but I was also busy hating Sai for not being Sasuke at the time, so I am biased. I didn't start finding him hilarious until [ch304 spoilers] this exchange [/304]. And now it's too late for me, I'm all "SAI, YOU SOCIALLY MALADJUSTED SPACE ALIEN, I LOVE YOU," full stop.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

I was hating Sai for being YET ANOTHER NEW CHARACTER, and a boy at that, when very girl but Sakura was apparently twiddling her thumbs back home.

[octopedingenue]

...huh? Maybe she gets left behind on a later mission I haven't read yet, but Sakura was with them all the way on this round of ZOMG Rescue Sasuke that introduced Sai. In fact I adore the Sakura/Sai dynamic; he magically brings out the het around her, because she tops him SO HARD.

Nonetheless: another female character would've been awesome. Sigh.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

That's why I said "every girl but Sakura"!

Also, it couldn't be a girl because it would have violated the sacred rule that every ninja team must be 2 boys and 1 girl. A team of 1 boy and 2 girls would have resulted in the destruction of the universe as we know it.

[octopedingenue]

Noooo, you said "very girl but Sakura," which I thought meant "the extremely female but cripplingly Sakura-esque Sakura was left behind." ;P

I'm relieved you understand these important things so well!

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Pft. I thought I had you trained to automatically fix my typos in your head!

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

You know, I stopped reading Naruto before Sai made it stateside. Did they just edit out every single thing that made me utterly convinced that he was gaygaygay?

[octopedingenue]

Inexplicably, they kept his random bellyshirt!

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

For a while, all I ran into was Naruto spoilers, including the Gaara Shippuden arc, the death of not one, not two, but three characters, and someone's actual parentage.

I have been reading on OneManga with no trouble so far.

[octopedingenue]

Thanks for letting me know about OneManga!

I have already been spoiled for major AAAGH things by reread_no_jutsu, but since A)I'm a mod and B)it includes stuff covered by the volume 41 spoiler cutoff, it's my own fault. I finally gave up catching up my volume-gaps bit by bit, as we go through the series, and ordered like 8 volumes for next week so I can start reading scanslations again.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

I am so far away from catching up. For the moment I am just ROLLING WITH IT.

[maramala.livejournal.com]

Seconding the Onemanga recommendation, if you want to read online.

[snarp]

So, it turns out Sasuke? Is Clow Reed's son from the future! Yeah, I know! I didn't even think giant carnivorous plants were supposed to have uteruses!

[octopedingenue]

...I misread Sasuke as Syaoran and COMPLETELY BELIEVED YOU.

[snarp]

And it's like, if Clow is a pregnant carnivorous plant, I think all previous theories about what he was doing in Count D's shop go out the window.

(Anything could be a Tsubasa spoiler. Like: Lesbian ninjas with neckerchiefs frozen in time for three millennia! One-eyed amnesiac disintegrating lion sorcerer!

NO ONE WOULD BE SURPRISED BY THESE THINGS)

[octopedingenue]

*ICON ICON ICON*

[b-writes.livejournal.com]

I was reading the TV Tropes site for spoilers and found "Just try spoiling someone for Neon Genesis Evangelion. Just try." Tsubasa seems to be made of much the same cloth.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

I love that now that I can see you in my mind I know that you are probably smaller than him, which cracks me up, that he might not have expected this little adult woman HITTING HIM, ah ha ha.

I also wanted to tell you - I am reading MY LIFE IN ORANGE and it's a lot easier of a read than FISHES, in part b/c it's a more pleasant memoir (like, sure things sucked but he was never as isolated) and mostly b/c I don't feel ACTUAL CONCERN FOR HIM AS A REAL PERSON, he's mostly a character in a story for me.

I love that there's a class of stories of 'Western kid in Indian Ashram' though :)

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

"spoilers in comments"

--no, seriously, I'm surprised no one else made the joke before I did.

*runs away, cackling*

[faithhopetricks.livejournal.com]

OH MAN, that's like the time when Second Sense had been out for a week and I was not even talking to my boss, who was standing near my workspace talking with a bunch of other people who had seen the movie, and they were all being v serious and hush-hush about it and my boss blurts out, "Oh, I knew all the time he was dead!"

And I literally did this: FACEPALM

Only it sounds even worse because I wasn't a big fan of Second Sense!