Spindrift back cover copy

[rachelmanija]

Thanks for the inspiration, folks! Here's my current draft:

There is a legend...

Of a martial arts school hidden in the mountains of Tibet.

Only the strongest will find it.

Only the best will be accepted.

Within its doors, young men train in deadly arts...

And grapple together. Half-naked. Kissing each other.

SPINDRIFT

Thoroughly researched! Historically accurate! Hot enough to melt the Himalayan snow!

Comments

[keilexandra]

When is this being published, in what form, where can I get it, and how much is it going to cost for the entirety?

(I've been reading your and Oyceter's posts on the everything from the beginning, but I still don't get it. Apart from the hotness and the wonderfully weird plot, of course.)

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

It is a manga (comic book), perfect-bound, written by myself and illustrated by telophase, the same team that created Project Blue Rose, which is about gay secret agents.

Spindrift will be available in June and will cost $8-10, shipping included, depending on what sort of deal we get from the printer. You get it by mail order, and if you click on the link you get our website, where you can sign up for a mailing list.

[keilexandra]

Ooooh, sounds cool. Except for the online ordering, but I can work around that.

[seajules]

It's catchy. The rhythm of the last line before the title feels slightly off, but I bet you already knew that. *G* Overall, though, I like it.

[rayechu.livejournal.com]

I agree about that one line. Though I really like the rest of it.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Rhythm and structure not quite right, yeah. Maybe "And make out." instead of "Kissing each other."

[larryhammer]

Agreed. That would make a good line.

---L.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Hee! Oh, I like that a lot.

[oyceter]

I think the "kissing each other" at the end sort of throws off the rhythm?

Ha, I am nowhere near creative enough to think of my own, but now that you wrote one, I will lamely play off yours:

There is a legend of a martial arts school hidden high in the mountains of Tibet.

Only the strongest can reach it.

Only the wisest [can't think of better -est adjective, argh) will find it.

Only the best will be accepted.

Those few will be initiated in the deadly arts of [the shinobi way! insert actual knowledgeable martial arts stuff here], honing their bodies as weapons.

Then they will grapple. Together.

Half-naked.

SPINDRIFT

Thoroughly researched! Historically accurate! And full of sweaty, muscled, half-naked men!

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

I second this suggestion!

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Mmm, I like "honing their bodies as weapons." And the last clause!

[marith.livejournal.com]

*laughs* That's great!

I do agree, taking out the "Kissing each other" line makes the rhythm work better. And the point gets across anyway with the last line.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Beautiful. :D

[chomiji]

Nice!

It does seem that this may be the first manga that I won't just leave lying about for the 15-year-old to find ... .

But come to think of it, that's probably a recommendation, yes?

- Cho

[lenora-rose.livejournal.com]

Like everyone else, I think "Kissing each other" seems awkward, but I may have the simplest (Not necessarily best) solution:

"Kissing."

(After all, the 'each other' is implied.)